On Hugs and Roseanne

Growing up, I hugged and kissed my mother until I was about eight years old. Then, I decided that I didn't want to anymore, and that was that. We were never the warm and touchy family that one reads about in greeting cards. We were more the sarcastic, impersonal family that one sees on TV shows like Roseanne.

When I was 17, I started dating Vernon. We went to prom together and after the grand march, when all the parents were taking pictures and stuff like that, his mom comes and GIVES HIM A KISS ON THE MOUTH. And, I was, like, Oh, my gosh, he just kissed his mom on the mouth. And later, on a different occasion, I was at his house for something and before we left HIS DAD GAVE HIM A KISS ON THE MOUTH. And, I was, like, Oh, my gosh, his dad just gave him a kiss on the mouth.

I was clearly not able to comprehend that kind of relationship with one's parents, coming from my own Roseanne-style upbringing.

Well, now, some 24 years after I stopped accepting hugs and kisses from my mother, she has started TO GIVE ME HUGS. I don't know what to think about this. I mean, sure, it's a nice idea in theory... but I'm just really not that into it. I am not a hugger. I am not a toucher. (On a side note: I had once toyed with the idea of becoming a birth doula, but given my complete inability to touch people, I figured that was probably not a very good career choice.) And I'm okay with that! Why go against something that has worked so well for our family for all these years? But, I love my mother very much, and I will give her hugs if that is what she wants.

Now, if my dad ever started giving me hugs... ugh. That's another story. I can't even begin to think about the awkwardness.