Christmas 2000 - The Board Game

Oooh... this one is another favorite of mine. The Board Game:

And this is another one that I don't have the other side saved on the computer. Maybe I'll get it scanned in some day, but not today.

That about brings an end to our Christmas Card round-up. Vern and I had one previous Christmas card together in 1999 (the first year we were married), but it was pretty lame: We put on Santa hats and took a picture and I wrote a short poem about what we did that year. Yawn.

So, that's it. Hope you enjoyed the ride.

Christmas 2001 - The Report Card

This was done during the first year that Vernon was an elementary teacher:

Again, this was the inside, and the outside isn't really on my computer anymore (and if I wasn't so lazy I'd just scan in a copy of the actual card). But it had a list of the Class Mosts, and this is how that read:

Class Clown: Vernon
Nicest Smile: Allison
Nicest Eyes: Vernon
Class Flirt: Vernon
Most Athletic: Vernon
Biggest Giggler: Allison
Best Cook: Allison
Most Fashionable: Vernon
Best Body: Vernon
Most School Spirit: Vernon
Hairiest Nose: Vernon
Nicest Butt: Vernon
Class Brain: Allison
Most Forgetful: Vernon
Biggest Blusher: Allison
Pickiest Eater: Vernon
Best Dressed: Vernon
Worst Driver: Vernon

What I'm Thinking...

Okay. So, here's what I'm thinking...

Downtown Hopkins is adorably quaint and charming, although the city itself didn't scream, "This is it!" I was actually left wondering why I wanted a cute little downtown so badly because I don't even shop that much in the first place. I think I just liked the idea of it.

So, then I started thinking about what WAS really important, and this is what I came up with:

1. Proximity to my community in Minneapolis. Like my friend Laura said, YOU DO NOT WANT TO FEEL ISOLATED! (And I think that what I was hoping to find in the community/town that I would live in I have already found within my mothering community.)
2. A successful location for Vern's chiropractic office.
3. A good library (that we could walk to).
4. Good food sources available.

But Hopkins was nice, and I think it is actually one of the frontrunners. Northfield seems too far away to be relevant any more given the reasons that we moved back. (Haven't been to Hastings or Rosemount yet.)

The other frontrunner is probably Moorhead. Because, not only does it have a perverted-sounding name, but it is:

1. Close to my mother.
2. Has a good library. 
3. Jake and Mikala will probably be living here.
4. Lower cost of living.

My Minneapolis friends were telling me that we should live wherever we think Vern's business will be most successful... and, honestly, I think that place would be Moorhead. (Although I do feel quite certain that he will be successful wherever he is...)

So, there we sit. Trying to balance all of those things out in determining where we should be.

Let the quest continue...

Christmas 2002 - The Crossword Puzzle

This one is kind of boring. Here's the front (part of it is upside down because that's how it got folded):

And then here is the inside. Boring.

Where in the World is Goofy Mama?

Over the last couple of weeks, we went from Moab, Utah, to Colorado, to Minneapolis, Minnesota, and now I'm in Moorhead, Minnesota (which is basically Fargo, ND, for those of you not in the know).

The kids and I rode back up here with my mom after Vern's graduation weekend so that, 1) We could give Vernon some time alone to work on his business plan, and 2) To check out the Moorhead area and figure out if we want to live here. Well, neither of those things really happened.

Vernon basically just rested the two days we were away from him because he wasn't feeling well, and now he might be coming up today (instead of on Thanksgiving) to avoid the snow and icy road conditions that are apparently on the way. And we really haven't gotten around much to check out Moorhead because, 1) My kids weren't feeling that great, and 2) The roads are icy.

So, there you have it.

Oh, and my mom doesn't have internet access so I have to update from the local library (which is pretty nice, by the way).

Christmas 2003 - The Comic Strip

This was a fun one... The Comic Strip. Probably my second favorite (behind the DVD cover). I did all of this in Photoshop, even wrote the not-really-that-funny jokes myself (click on the thing to see it better).

This was the inside of the thing. I don't have on my computer what the outside was.

Christmas 2004 - The Magazine

This year, we did a magazine format. It's printed in black and white (because that is MUCH cheaper than color) on an 8-1/2 x 11 paper. Click on the image to see the larger version of it.

And here was the picture that we included with it:

Christmas 2005 - The Storybook

This one is kind of hard to describe. Basically, it does comes together to form a story book, but it needs to be set up like this (where page 1 is going to be on the same spread as page 16, page 2 with 15, etc):

And they also need to correspond with these pages, which are to be printed on the back of the 8-1/2"x11" piece of paper that you're using (again, in black and white, because it's cheaper):

Which then get cut out and stapled together to form a book. Got it?

And here is the picture we included with it, just for poops and giggles:

The Move Back to Minnesota

So, we moved to Colorado three months ago, right? And I had a hard time adjusting, because everything was new, we sold all of our stuff, etc., right?

Well, even though we are back in Minnesota, I am having a hard time adjusting to a move once again. Everything is new, I'm driving down different roads, we're living with Vern's brother, etc. (Which, by the way, I cannot believe that Vern's brother has taken us in... Here we are, a family of five, unloading ourselves on the once quiet life of this single guy and his dog. What the hell was he thinking?)

I was cutting carrots the other day, using one of Vince's sub-par knives, and I asked Vernon to unpack our knives so I could use our good ones... the ones that I am used to. But Vernon wouldn't get them because he said we didn't need another set of knives out in the kitchen, and he told me that if I wanted them I could go get them myself.

But I don't want to go get them because Vernon packed them, I don't know where they are, and it's just the principle of it all (kind of like that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where that piece of luggage sits on the landing for over a month because neither of them think they should be the one to put it away). But it really is the principle. The principle that these knives bring me a sense of familiarity, a sense of *home*, if you will... and he doesn't recognize that and, therefore, doesn't get them for me.

So, meanwhile, I continue to cut carrots like I'm Gary Busey circa 1999 and they turn out horrible.

And you would think the no-sex thing would make Vern want to get our own place more sooner than later... but, no. It doesn't.

But... on a positive note, there was a welcome back brunch for me and it was seriously one of the best things ever. Because, get this... my friends got a GRILLED CHICKEN AND BACON STUFFED PIZZA FROM PAPA MURPHY'S in honor of my return! Isn't that the best? You can't really ask for better friends than that. You really can't.

Christmas 2006 - DVD Cover

This one is my personal favorite... a DVD cover. Just designed the thing in Photoshop and printed it out as a 5x7.

Then, I did the back in Quark XPress and taped it to the photo. (Be sure to click on this one to see the larger version of it because I put a lot of thought into all that stuff in small type.)

Christmas 2007 - Baseball Cards

Ah, yes... 2007. The year we did baseball cards (which was actually Vern's idea, my hard work). I took pictures of all of us in our more-than-lame-baseball gear. Designed them in Photoshop. I had the pictures set up to be 2.5"x3.5" (wallet size), so that I could fit four on a 5"x7" size photo. Then, I had them printed and just cut them apart.

For our stats on the back, I just printed them, cut them out, and taped them to the back (again, click on them individually if you want to see a larger version... if you need help reading the small print or anything like that):

And then I stuck a piece of gum in the envelope when I mailed them... you know, like in a pack of baseball cards.

Christmas 2008 - Facebook

This was the year that I set it up to look like a facebook page. I designed it in QuarkXpress and printed it out in black and white (because black and white is WAY cheaper) on 8-1/2"x11" paper. 

We also included this picture with it (just for the heck of it):

Christmas 2009 - The Simpsons

So, I did end up coming up with an idea for our Christmas cards last year. I Simpsonized us. I created different Simpsons avatars for each of us, then pasted them (along with the background of The Simpsons set) together in Photoshop. Then, I had 5x7 photos printed of it.

(Click on either of the images to see a larger version of it.)

And then on the back, I just printed out the following text and taped it to the back of the photograph:

Our Life, In Boxes

Our life is getting piled into boxes again (or, more accurately, Hefty garbage bags). We're moving back to Minnesota tomorrow. It's a 13-1/2 hour drive to Vernon's brother's house (let's just call him "Vince", since that is his name), and we'll be driving straight through.

So, I'm feeling a bit reflective today. I'm thinking about the feeling that one gets when literally closing the door on one life and driving up to the next. It's interesting.

Vernon is using the word "Hoff" in everything this morning. (He briefly caught a glimpse of America's Got Talent over a year ago where David Hasselhoff was saying it, and he has, for some reason, resurrected it today.) Here is what he's saying: "It's Hoff-tacular." "That's Hoff-some." "Say 'Hoff' kids!" And then just some random chanting of "Hoff! Hoff! Hoff! Hoff!"

It's Hoff-ful.

Anyway, so this is it. We'll be packing up the computer later today, so I'll report again (from Minnesota) on Thursday. (I'll set something to run automatically tomorrow, probably one of the Christmas Card things.)

I'll leave you with this picture from Colorado to remember us by (it's my mom):

Christmas Card Ideas

Let me start this Christmas card thing with this video I made (for facebook) last year:

Pancakes, Pancakes!

We have a tradition. For the first snow of the year, we go out to eat pancakes (5%! 5%! Although, by the way we've been out and about lately, it's more like 10%.) Sometimes (like this year) it's hard to get out for pancakes on the exact day of the first snowfall due to scheduling conflicts (i.e. Vern has to work). So, we give ourselves a week or so to get it in.

When we lived in Minnesota, we always went to this restaurant called Al's Breakfast in Minneapolis for the first snow. Al's Breakfast is probably, quite literally, the tiniest restaurant in the entire world. You cram in with a bunch of other people and wait to get seated on one of the 15 (or so) stools by the counter. And there is always a line. But it is so extremely awesome. Their blueberry walnut pancakes are the absolute best things in the entire world.

Since we're living outside of Denver this year, I googled "Best Pancakes in Denver" and came up with a restaurant called Toast. They have a wide selection of intriguing specialty pancakes.

Vernon and Ocean each got the Strawberry Banana Cheesecake Pancakes:

I opted for the Carrot Cake Pancakes:

And Ezra got the Lemon Blueberry Pancakes (and didn't wait for me to get a picture taken before he started smearing his whipped cream around):

And these all look well and good, but they were definitely no match for the Blueberry Walnut Pancakes (Wally Blues) from Al's Breakfast.

By a long shot.

And that's not really saying anything against the pancakes at Toast, it's just saying that the ones at Al's Breakfast are far superior to anything and are, therefore, really, really hard to compete with.

Arches National Park

We're back from Arches. Here are some pictures I took on the way there, from the car window:

 

Then we got there, and it was pretty close to sunset, which is a GREAT time for taking photos:

It was kind of chilly out, but that was okay, because, look... I bought winter coats for my kids the day before. (I got 3 coats plus 3 pairs of boots and 1 pair of gloves, all for under $18 at Unique Thrift Store... 50% off on Veteran's Day.)

And then we went out the next day (today) early in the morning for some more fun at the Arches. Another prime time for taking photos. But some douche bag forgot to charge her camera battery before they left, so that was the end of the picture taking. (Of all the times to forget to charge the camera battery, right? I mean, the whole point of this excursion was to be surrounded by all this natural beauty AND take pictures of it. Oh, well.)

Anyway, while we were looking at all of this amazing stuff, Vern said, "I wonder if people ever get tired of seeing this."

"I suppose they do," I said. "It would be like having a unicorn in your yard. The first day it's really cool, but by the second or third day, it's commonplace."

Which got me to thinking about all of the unicorns I have in my life that I've taken for granted. My everyday miracles that have somehow become commonplace.

Here are a few of my unicorns:

• Three healthy and happy children
• A husband who loves me
• Running water
• Electricity
• Toilet paper
• Motorized Vehicles
• Grilled Chicken and Bacon Stuffed Pizza from Papa Murphy's
• Minnesota

I Love You, Dr. Vernon

Vernon is officially a doctor of chiropractic today.

Last night, when we were having sex celebrating that fact (and also because we're stockpiling on sex before we move in with Vern's brother), I said, "I love you, Dr. Vernon." Vern said, "I love you too." And I said, "You can call me 'Mrs. Dr. of Chiropractic'."

Because I've put up with a lot over the last four years: long hours, limited income, etc. But do I get a title? Do I get a ceremony and a graduation reception? No. All I get is to move in with Vern's brother for an indefinite amount of time.

But I say all this in jest because it actually hasn't been that big of a deal. Any of it. And I'm proud of Vernon for how hard he has worked and for all of his accomplishments (academically and personally).

All I'm saying is that 'Mrs. Dr. of Chiropractic' has a nice ring to it.

My Daughter

Our Immediate Future

Here is what our schedule looks like for the upcoming weeks, if anybody cares:

November 11: Vern's last day at the office.

November 12-13: Go visit Arches National Park in Moab, Utah, just for poops and giggles.

November 14-16: Pack and clean.

November 17: Drive back to Minnesota. Get there late. Live (rent-free, but we'll pay him back later) with Vernon's brother in Lexington, MN for the immediate (no-sex) future.

November 18: Maybe check out Hopkins to see if we want to live there.

November 19: Vernon's graduation.

November 20: Vernon's graduation reception (thrown by his mom, and not me, thank goodness).

November 21-28: I will drive with my mom back to Moorhead. (Vern will join us there on Thanksgiving... I want to give him those preceding days as focused time without kids or interruptions to start planning his business.) We'll stay there through the Thanksgiving weekend and interview Moorhead to see if we want to live there.

That's our life. Here's a picture:

The First Snow

The first snow of the year in Northglenn, Colorado.

Note: We kind of got rid of most of our winter clothes since we thought we'd be going to Florida after this stint here in Colorado. Just thought I should explain the fact that Ocean is wearing her bathrobe. (Although, she does have a fall coat that she could have worn.)

Red Rocks

One of the things I wanted to do before we move was go to Red Rocks. So we did that yesterday.

Ezra put on his coat before we left.

And we went to Red Rocks.

It was a about 15 miles outside of Denver.

The kids ran down the steps of the Red Rocks Amphitheater. This is where A LOT of people come to run the steps and get in a workout.

Ocean and Vernon watched other people running the steps from below.

And Ocean and I posed for a picture.

Then we went to this rock to take some pictures:

In this next picture, do you see that huge condom I'm holding in my back pocket? That's because Vern has such a big penis. (I'm just kidding... about the condom part, not the penis. You all know I don't even know how to use a condom.)

Meanwhile, Peace was doing this:

And she's still doing those antics with her tongue:

And that was about it. Then we went to the grave of Buffalo Bill Cody which was about as exciting as you would think looking at the grave of Buffalo Bill Cody would be.

Now, the only other thing I want to do before we leave is to take a 6 hour road trip to Arches National Park in Utah, and we'll be doing that this weekend. Then, Minnesota here we come!