We use Natural Family Planning... always have, probably always will. Vern and I have been having sex for almost 11 years now, and haven't ever gotten pregnant when we didn't want to be.
So, obviously, if you know me... I'm a naturalist in all areas of life, so the birth control pill is quite an idiotic thing to take, in my opinion.
On May 10, somebody posted on facebook how it was the 50th anniversary of the birth control pill. And they were all, like, happy for the revolution women were taking over their reproductive lives. And, meanwhile, I'm thinking... but the birth control pill has done nothing but taken women further away from knowing their reproductive cycles. Birth control pills are artificial hormones. They're a medication. They are NOT GOOD FOR YOUR BODY. And women aren't even batting an eye at it anymore because it has somehow become normalized in our society to take something that prevents our bodies from operating the way they should. What the frick? And now, there is even that new birth control pill out there where a woman will only get her period once a year. ONCE A YEAR, PEOPLE! I mean, isn't that taking women further away from their women-ness rather than empowering them toward it? I think we need a new revolution.
What would empower women is to get to KNOW their fertility. A must read for every women would be the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility
by Toni Weschler. It tells you everything you need to know.Another, more natural, way to approach fertility would be to use the Fertility Awareness Method to detect when you're fertile, and, if you are, use a condom during the fertile times, and nothing when you're not (but don't use coconut oil with a condom... that's a no-no). I have never used a condom in my life, nor do I want to. It just doesn't seem appealing to me. So, what we do, is we just abstain from sex during the days of the month when I am fertile.
Things like IUDs give me the heebie-jeebies. I don't like having weird things stuck up inside my private parts.
So, yeah, Natural Family Planning is what we do and it has worked well for us.
10 comments:
One could argue that putting a condom on is a lot 'less natural' than certain types of hormonal birth control, which actually put women's bodies in a state CLOSER to what they have been historically speaking,( which is a state of constant pregnancy or lactation from menarche to menopause or death experiencing very few menstrual periods). The number of periods modern women experience is actually quite a historical anomaly and possibly not extremely 'healthy' (though perhaps healthier than bearing 12 children, depending on ones risk factors). To be really natural, you should begin reproduction soon after menarche and continue to reproduce upon return of each period to avoid having so many menses.
fortunately for you, you live in a time and culture where women in some relationships MAY avoid sex at certain times of the month. It is not a cross cultural/historical given that a women may deny the man sex. and to imply that there was a time when women were more in touch with their cycles is sort of wishful thinking. We take a lot of our understanding of reproduction for granted. Generations of women, especially in puritan America did not even know about their periods, it was not discussed or taught or very well understood, and this really only began to change systematically in the 40's.
And finally, you are a rock star Allison but you are not a naturalist in all areas of life. I know you hold space for supernatural beliefs too. :) Much love, Kristin
Oh, Kristin... always challenging me to think about everything more. You are right, I should not have called my naturalist in all areas of life. I enjoy air conditioning. I like peeing in a toilet. I like not having had children when I turned 13. I don't think I implied that there was a time when women were more in touch with their cycles... all I'm saying is that I think NOW is the time for women to do so.
I think natural family planning is good if you have regular cycles, but I feel sort of alienated that I am not natural enough to have regular cycles. I eat whole foods and live a vegetarian lifestyle, but I've still been diagnosed with PCOS and I am thus unwilling to run the risk of having more babies than I can afford.
Aidenn - Of course, that makes sense. I was just telling what works for us (as someone who has had regular cycles all my life, which I am grateful for).
I think if you monitor your temps, cervical mucous, etc, it doesn't matter whether your are regular or not. Your temp will still fluctuate at ovulation, right?
Anyway, we also use this method and I have also been lucky enough to have regular cycles and feel very in-tune with my cycle; I always know when I am ovulating, even without temp checking. We also have only gotten prego when we wanted to in 10 years of marriage (although I did use the pill early on in the marriage but quit b/c of the negative side effects).
Another pretty effective method that no one seems to talk about is the withdrawl method. Maybe it doesn't work for all people, but we've used this, too, and have never made a mistake...knock on wood. No pun intended.
Tikkitavi, the issue is that I don't ovulate. I'm envious of those with regular cycles, but with all the BBT charting we did when we were setting off to do natural family planning, it never spiked or dipped. I am so glad to hear that NFP works for so many, I just wish there was a better answer for those of us who are medically challenged in that area!
Okay, but you DID say the pill has taken women further away from knowing their reproductive cycles. I would say women know more now then ever about that stuff, not thanks to the pill, but thanks to science and the discovery of sperm and ovulation and thermometers with which to take temperatures. And I just chuckled at the Naturalist thing because that is a word we often use to describe those who hold no religious beliefs, or any beliefs that things exist outside the natural world, outside of matter. No spirit, no afterlife, no psychic energy- just matter. I know this is not you at all! :)
Love always, Kristin
This is something I feel pretty strongly about. I agree with Allison that the Pill has not empowered women with knowledge about their bodies. I think that the *ability* for women to have knowledge about fertility is greater today than it has ever been; my goodness, we have close-up photographic evidence of ovulation! However, the necessity of it to prevent pregnancy is never emphasized outside the NFP circles.
When I mention things like 'luteal phase' to my friends who are on hormonal birth control, I get blank looks. Of course one can go through one's whole life without knowing what a luteal phase is and how it affects fertility, but I'd rather know, because it feels good to understand my body. I don't think that is a conversation one have with a doctor who is prescribing someone birth control (but I might be wrong because I've never been on hormonal birth control).
I think what the Pill has done, largely, is allowed women to say "I don't know how it all works and I don't really care." The Pill does empower women in that it allows them to choose to prevent unwanted pregnancies. However, the advent of the Pill has not encouraged women to know more about their fertility cycles or how their bodies work, and I think it actually makes them less curious because they don't have to understand them to prevent pregnancy.
As far as getting pregnant goes, I've had several friends IRL struggle to get pregnant because they (inaccurately) believed that every woman on earth ovulates on Day 14. I wish that every girl would be handed a copy of 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' before she hits puberty so that she could understand what's going on hormonally in her body. If she then chooses to use artificial hormones to prevent pregnancy, that's cool---but I would hope she understands how her body works naturally first, and also how the Pill or other hormones would work to prevent pregnancy. I do not see evidence in our society of any real understanding of female fertility. I see people who know how to not get knocked up, but that's not the same as understanding fertility.
Jen B., the Pill may not have empowered women with information our reproductive cycles, but I would argue that being empowered not to have a baby every year is FAR more important to women's health, longevity, and well-being. Also, I think you're really selling your infertile friends short. The women I know who are trying to get pregnant are VERY excruciatingly well informed about their reproductive cycle, luteal phases, cervical mucous, and so forth. They are also not comfortable talking about their fertility issues with their fertile friends. Since I don't have kids, I hear it all. Trust me, they know what it takes to get pregnant, and it's really unkind to dismiss their fertility issues as sheer ignorance.
Goofy Mama, I am sure you are a lovely person, but your post read as a bit smug. NFP is just not that effective for most people, and most people cannot afford to risk having an unplanned child.
Jezebella, I was referring to people I know IRL who have tried to conceive by having sex on the day they assumed they ovulated. Once they used FAM (sympto-thermo fertility awareness) methods they got pregnant quickly. I am not talking about other people I know IRL who have struggled with infertility, and I certainly empathize with their struggle. If you note in my original post I said "I have had several friends. . . " That's not a blanket assumption or statement about everyone who struggles with infertility, is it?
I'll restate it: I'm saying that awareness of the function of the female reproductive system is pretty vague in our society, generally. And the Pill has not increased knowledge of how women's bodies work. I think it HAS given women more control over reproduction, but would you agree that there's a big difference between knowing how to avoid pregnancy and knowing how one's body works?
I do not doubt, nor would I ever claim, that the ability to prevent pregnancy is absolutely critical to a woman's empowerment. I do not think that the Pill has contributed to women's knowledge of their bodies' function though---do you? I think that's all Goofy Mama is claiming, and I agree with her.
Also, the FAM method is as effective as taking the Pill in preventing pregnancy; to say that "it's just not that effective for most people" is incorrect.
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