Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Idle Parenting

I recently read this post called Idle Parenting on the Peaceful Parenting blog. Reading the first part of it, I really connected to it, got really excited about it, and even posted a link to it on Facebook. The article started out being about how children learn by playing, being outside, and then, what got me really excited was when the author used this quote from a DH Lawrence essay, Education of the People: "How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning."

Totally my cup of tea, right?

But then, I kept reading and instead of talking more about idle parenting he started talking about lazy parenting. And, quite frankly, his idea of lazy parenting sounded just plain lazy... and maybe even kind of wrong. I was embarrassed for having posted a link to it on my Facebook page, proclaiming how I... "Loved this article. Please read it."

See, I think there is a difference between idle parenting and lazy parenting. When a car engine is idle, it's waiting. It's purposeful. It's has intent. Idle parenting has a purpose. Lazy parenting does not. The problem is, idle parenting and lazy parenting look a lot alike. The difference is in the intent.

I let my kids do a lot of things on their own. I am not a martyr for them. I let them learn. I let them grow. I let them play. But I am not lazy. Lazy parents do not read books like this or this or this or this or this.

I value goals. I value vision. I value hard work. I value living life with purpose and in finding one's purpose I think the best way for children to do that is to have the time to think and dream and play.

And if that makes me look a little lazy in the process, so be it.

5 comments:

bethany said...

i love your parenting style. high-five!

~The M.F.P. said...

I totally agree. [oh, and I also spend a little too much time being 'revved up', but I'm way more relaxed then I used to be :) ]

Olga said...

Very inspiring.. Thank you.

Marisa said...

I'm a fantastic idle parent of babies and toddlers, but I really suck at being an idle parent of a school-aged kid. And I have no idea how to fix that, other than moment to moment, which I have been attempting and failing on a regular basis... Gaaahh....

~T. said...

FB is so fussy sometimes I see new posts, sometimes I don't. I love to watch you parent your kiddos, Allison. It's touching and rewarding to just watch. Your kids are so fortunate to have come to you. You're a true role model.

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