Over Halfway Through Lent

So, I'm a little over halfway through Lent, where I'm doing this love/appreciation/thankful blog in photos thing, right? Well, I got to thinking about what MORE I could do for Lent. I actually think about what MORE I can do in terms of self-improvement a good deal of the time (and not just during Lent). I've read a bit about Alcoholics Anonymous (don't ask me why), and I think it is a remarkable program not only for dealing with alcohol problems, but in trying to be a better person as well. I think that sober people need an Alcoholics Anonymous to learn how to be better people. Just think about it... believing in a power greater than ourselves, asking forgiveness, taking responsibility for our lives, taking everything one day at a time and living in the present moment. We should all have support meetings to keep ourselves accountable for this type of behavior. Maybe I should start something... I could just call it Anonymous.

Anywho, so I am just using Lent as a catalyst for my self-improvement, and here were some other things I was thinking:

1) I could try to physically touch people more. I always said that I would be a midwife or doula if I liked to touch people more (AND look at vaginas). It just hasn't been my thing. I mean, I touch my hubby and kids enough (especially baby). But maybe I could make a concerted effort to try to touch other people more often (and by "touch", you all know what I mean, so don't go getting all weird about it and making jokes to yourself while you're reading this, okay). We are all connected, as wonderful, harmonious beings of this world, right? I should try to foster that connection and reach out to people more with a hug or a pat on the arm or something.

OR, now maybe this is a better idea, I could EMBRACE the side of me that doesn't like to touch people and just keep on living like I have been living. Yeah, I think I like that better. There is nothing WRONG with not being a toucher. There is nothing wrong with running into the other room every time my brother-in-law tries to hug me, so much so that it has become a running joke amongst us. I like this part of me.

Okay, so strike that, and let's move on to...

2) I could try to be less sarcastic. I still want to be FUNNY sarcastic, like when somebody posts a status update on Facebook that says, "...is busy studying tonight." and I respond with, "Is studying code for looking at dudes while choking yourself with a belt?"

But maybe I could do less of the MEAN funny. I don't always know where the line between FUNNY and MEAN sarcasm meet, so my husband is often reminding me.

One example I can think of (probably because it ended in such a monstrous argument between Vern and myself) was this:

I was 30 weeks pregnant with Peace (so let that serve as a reminder to you as to why I was extremely hormonal and moody when you read about that part later in this story). Vern's friend, Jake, has just run the Fargo 1/2 Marathon (an event I had run in the past) and it turns out that I ran it about 3 minutes faster than him. So, on his Facebook wall, I write, "I'm faster than you. Suck it."

Vernon happens to be reading this over my shoulder and tells me that he thinks what I wrote is mean. I tell him that I think it is hilarious and that it is just some good-natured ribbing. And he's, like, "But don't you think it's just a little bit mean?" And I'm, like, "No." And he's, like, "Really?" And then I'm, like, "No, it's funny! Why don't you think I'm funny anymore? You always used to think I was funny."

(Remember when Kathy Griffin won an Emmy for her reality show and in her acceptance speech she holds up the statue and says, "Suck it, Jesus. This is my God now!" Well, I say something to Vern about how he thought it was super-funny when Kathy Griffin said that, but if it had been me, he would have been offended and embarrassed by me. And he's, like, "Yeah, probably.")

So, I am completely annoyed by him and the fact that he doesn't think that I'm funny, and I storm out of the house. I drive to the movie theater in hopes of maybe seeing a movie (so then he can really know how upset I am and wonder where I've been for so long!), but I don't really find anything I want to see except for maybe the new STAR TREK, but then I don't feel like seeing that either, so I just drive back home and cry myself to sleep.

See... all of this because of my sarcasm, people.

Oh, and here are some more examples of my mean sense of humor:

At a high school basketball game, I told a friend of mine that "Bon Appetit" meant "Good Luck" in French. She believed me and went around yelling "Bon Appetit" the whole game.

At a friend's house in high school, my other friend asked where the bathroom was. I told her that it was the first door on the right, even though I knew full well that it was the second door on the left. So, my friend ended up walking into the master bedroom where my other friend's mom was taking off her shirt and getting into her pajamas. (In my defense, I had no idea that her mom was in there.)

Okay, I'm still kind of laughing about those, so I guess I'm not fully cured yet.

Maybe this Lent will help with that.