A picture of me looking fancy. I'd like to point out the use of my "fancy face" in this picture. Ladies, please take note. This is how one goes about looking fancy: put a finger up to your face and smile nicely. It's as easy as that. And isn't my husband hot? Look at him with his hand cupped on my butt. It's like the hand wants to touch my butt, but it isn't sure how. Maybe it is nervous because it suspects that I might go on to put its picture up on my blog. (It is correct. Here it is.)
And here is a picture of my fancy family. Apparently, after over seven years of being a parent to three different children, I still don't know how to carry a baby. What is that? My hand is under her crotch and my other hand is hiking up her shirt so her tummy is showing.
And here are my fancy kids:
And here are just some more pictures of me attempting to pose fancy:
Oh, and wait! I almost forgot to tell my funny story. Well, as you all know, I wanted to look fancy, right? So, what that equates to is me wearing mascara. It's been eons since I've worn the stuff, and the mascara that I own is over ten years old and is just some cheap Great Lash stuff by Maybelline that should really be thrown out (but hasn't been because I am lazy). Well, 1) It is gross that it is over ten years old, and 2) I want to avoid putting "unnatural" stuff on or in my body (see previous post).
So, I went to the health food co-op with the intent of picking up some natural mascara, but the cheapest brand cost over $12! OVER $12 PEOPLE! I could not rationalize spending $12 on mascara that would not even get utilized on a regular (or semi-regular, or bi-annual) basis, but I didn't want to go home and use my old crappy stuff either.
So... here is what I did. I noticed that they had test samples of mascara sitting out for people to use. TEST SAMPLES!
So I used some.
And then I put on some sample eyeliner as well.
This is beyond pathetic. And you are all probably thinking that using public samples of mascara is no less gross and unhealthy than using my ten year old crap. (And you would be right. All of my fancy, Miss Manners books says that this is a definite no-no.) But here is my theory on that... Who else would go into the health food store to sample mascara? NOBODY, PEOPLE! Nobody else would even consider doing this.
Only me.
And I guess that's what makes me special. And fancy.
6 comments:
You are right--nobody else would do that!
This might be the most hilarious blog post ever.
I loved this post :)
You are one hot lady! I love the fanciness in all of the pictures. You guys must have been the best looking family at the wedding.
Excellent rationalization about the mascara...you're probably right...but if something were to crop up in your eye, you could probably just have Vern put coconut oil, kefir, and other random food items in it. lol
What I want to know is where the heck did you get such fancy clothes? The kids are so color coordinated with each other. Did you actually go shopping?!?!?? I am so confused! Where did the Allison that I know and love go? :)
You are so awesome.
You guys look great (and hey, I've worn that dress). I agree, you were probably the first person to ever use either of the sample products at the coop.
Post a Comment