So, before I talk about this latest comment, let's review the comments I got in the past:
- The first one came not directly as a result from this blog, but from my Nursing Etiquette video on YouTube. Somebody called me homely. (I talk about that here.)
- The next comments came in response to this post about Once Upon a Child and this one about Five Things. The commenter said I was judgmental. (I talk about that here.)
- Another comment came from this post on The Dilemma with the Knives, which I talk about here.
So, you don't know why you do all the things you do?? Seems like a scary way to raise a family!!! Sure hope your kids turn out all right!
WTF? (And by "F", I mean "Frick".)
I mean, seriously... who feels the need to leave rude anonymous posts on other people's blogs? I don't get it.
It's not even that big of a topic to get worked up over in the first place.
Which I guess doesn't explain why I'm responding to it. I am a paradox in that way, I guess.
16 comments:
I think that some people just thrive on feeling superior to others. It is too bad that she doesn't have enough courage in her convictions to post her name.
Ahh F them, and I don't mean frick. If you let them get under your skin too much then they will keep on doing it, and your blog wont be fun anymore.
Really how is that scary anyways? Even if you are appalled at the idea of not lathering in carcinogens at every opportunity and slathering yourself with as many scented products as possible throughout your day there are far greater concerns about parenting than something as silly as how you do your dishes.
So while the mystery critic soaks in sulfates from a bottle made with BPA, your in the clear with all the extra time and effort you put into how you take care of your household.
*shrug* If you make it humorous rather than insulting hopefully it will fare better for you.
Because their lives suck. Seriously. When people aren't happy at home they spout negativity as a way to cope. Let them be miserable and enjoy the gorgeous family you have. They're probably just jealous they don't have what you do.
When I saw that this was the topic of your blog post, my first thought was, "omg, did I say something terribly offensive to her last night in my buzzyness??!" lol! I hope I didn't! I think you're awesome!
And in response to the actual topic of this post…..why don't people get that we are really all just making it up as we go along? Seriously.
For what it's worth, here's what I feel the standard response to critical or negative postings that are anonymous should be. Feel free to use this Allison as your next blog posting.
Anonymous,
Thank you for reading my blog. Always great to hear from a fan. I will gladly consider your posting something valid for me to concern myself with as soon as you let me know who I may address my thoughts to.
Of course, it is easy to have an opinion when you don't have to be held accountable for it.
In the meantime, please enjoy this article about anonymous internet postings.
http://www.naturalnews.com/029572_Facebook_hate_speech.html
From the article about that I mentioned in my other post.
"No person of noteworthiness escapes being targeted by Facebook Haters because they operate 24 hours a day and, most important of all, they operate with complete anonymity.
Haters, you see, are emboldened by their anonymity. If real names were required on Facebook, the density of hate speech would drop sharply.
Which brings me to a curious question: Who, exactly, are these Haters?
As it turns out, these are ordinary, everyday people. These are the people who are frustrated with their jobs, frustrated with their marriages, frustrated with their economic situation and frustrated with life. They have no place to vent this frustration in the real world. You can't tell off your boss and expect to still receive a paycheck. You can't scream at your husband or wife without risking a divorce. You can't go around shooting people on the streets without getting arrested and thrown in prison.
But you can assassinate people online. Anonymously..."
BTW, I'm all for positive comments or acts of kindness done in anonymity. If you want to say something nice to someone or do something nice for someone but don't want or need to be acknowledged for it, go for it. The world could use more people like you who do good for no other reason than it's the right thing to do and you like to help people live happier lives.
Allison - regarding the home birth debate... I'm wondering what you would do if you were more than a week overdue with a baby? Can you be induced at home? Just curious...
LOVE that you probably expose yourself and your family to a little germ here or there. Builds up the immune system and is GOOD for them. Keep up the good work! I just read a study on why kids that live on farms and are exposed to everything get sick less often as adults. Your kids will be less sick as adults. GOOD MAMA, GOOFY MAMA.
Oh, and you certainly get a lot of support and good comments in ratio to the haters. They're just jealous of how awesomely intuitive and intelligent (these two things go together) you are. Keep up the good work.
Sara - I wouldn't blink an eye at being only a week overdue (unless I was feeling intuitively that something might be up). The average length of gestation is actually 41-1/7 weeks (for first time mothers) if women are left to go into labor on their own. Babies have their own timetable and we can't force that (as much as we, and the medical establishment, might like to).
There's this wonderful book called "Pushed" by Jennifer block, and it has a bunch of informative and interesting birth tidbits in it. Here is something from the book concerning induction:
"CDC 2004 Infant Mortality Rate:
37-39 Weeks = 2.61 (per 1000)
40-41 Weeks = 2.00
42 Weeks + = 2.87
The babies born at 41 weeks die for the same reasons babies who are stillborn die at 39 weeks."
So, when I look at this data, I don't feel worried about going overdue. The risk is minimal. (It's kind of like worrying about eating raw eggs... The chances of getting salmonella from eating raw eggs is only .0001-.0003 percent, and that statistic is for CONVENTIONAL eggs, mind you. You are 15 times more likely to fatally slip in the shower.)
I firmly believe in the process of birth to let labor start on its own. There is an inherent beauty in having that trust. I have a couple friends who consistently carry past 42 weeks, and they just calculate that as their "due date" (at 42 weeks, versus 40).
Although, that being said, there are certainly more natural ways of "inducing" that you could do for a homebirth if you (or your midwife) are getting worried (things like acupuncture, nipple stimulation, maybe even castor oil, depending on how you feel about that). State-licensed homebirth midwives tend to get more "nervous" because they aren't supposed to attend births after 42 weeks (and this is the reason I like non-licensed midwives better, personally).
But if mom and baby are doing fine, why rush it?
Hi Allison,
I can't say that I would wish for a hater to write to you, but to look at the bright side of it would be to realize that we all get to tell you how great we think you are when a hater writes and attacks some of the same things that others love about you. Does that sleep-deprived sentence make sense?
All I know is that I need to read your blog to reassure myself that there are others like me out there that are doing the same crazy non-conformist/non-mainstream things that are good for us, for our children, and, ultimately, for the same world that the haters live.
Let's turn the "anonymous" person's frown upside down by posting somewhere, anywhere you choose, a nice comment.... anonymously.
P.S. A comment to another comment on home birth. I had a natural home birth at 41 and 1/2 weeks . My mid wife said that if I went to 42 weeks that she had some herbs that she would give me to assist in starting labor. I never did need them, but there is something out there.
Thanks Allison! FYI, my birthing history is this:
1. My twins were born c-section at 33 weeks after my water broke at 31 weeks (in the middle of the night - no warning). The c-section was planned because one of my babies had cloacal exstrophy - a rare birth defect in which (among other issues) much of the baby's abdominal organs were outside her body .
2. My 3rd baby was delivered vaginally but was induced at 41 1/2 weeks. There was meconium in the fluid...but delivery was very straight forward- no complications.
3. My 4th baby was also delivered vaginally at 40 1/2 weeks (this doctor was not as comfortable letting me go over as the doctor for baby #3).
4. I'm pregnant again and just kind of expect I'll need to be induced.
By the way, because I use NFP, I know my conception date so the gestations are accurate.
Because of my prior c-section, home birth is not really an option. Heck - I've even had trouble finding MDs that are ok with a VBAC. (You will probably say I could find a mid-wife that would be fine with that:o) Home birth is something I never considered for my 1st couple go-arounds. My opinions on this topic (as well as many others) have evolved significantly since I had my twins. I was mostly interested in your thoughts on "over-due" and induction and very much appreciate your comments:o)
Allison - just stopping over to read and say hi. thanks for visiting my blog! a rude blog comment would totally make me cry, but i am thin-skinned like that, i cant help it.
i dont know if i am missing the conversation with the above Sara (I am a different Sara) but my second was a VBAC, and at home. it went beautifully. i am planning the same with my third. the pushed book was a good read for me to prepare. but, that said, to your original question, maybe your babies just take longer to make themselves ready for the world? i think any midwife would say just let the baby come when its ready - unless your fluids are low maybe? i dont know as much about that as others here though. and yes, there is a lot of "natural" things you can do to help things along. i swore by accupressue points on my ankle (just google it) for my second birth. i was in labor that evening. good luck! twins and three other babies! super mama!
Thanks for the comments and encouragement, Sara. Hey - great name, by the way:o) I've always wondered what I would have done before modern medicine intervened... how long would I have gone if not induced?! My health was fine with all of them (blood pressure, etc.) and fluid around baby was fine too...
I tried accupuncture (ankle area) with my 3rd. Didn't work. That was the baby that had some meconium in the fluid. My dr. "stripped my membranes" (not pleasant!) twice with the 4th to try to get me going. Didn't work either. I can't say I've tried much else but will probably do more research this time so I'm prepared to try some other things if I go over again.
The reason I would be nervous about a VBAC at home is that if my uterus were to rupture, there is a high likelihood of death to baby, me, or both, even in a hospital setting. I realize there is a small percent chance (but higher than fatally slipping in the shower:o) of that happening but would rather have the staff and medical equipment near just in case.
By the way, my twins are 9 now so it's not too superhuman to be on #5 now. We as a culture (sadly) have been conditioned to 2 as the average... I say, the more the merrier (most days, anyway)!
Blessings,
Sara
Robin - Yes, Goofy Mama needs to be coddled sometimes. Thanks for the kind words everybody!
It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like you do on your blog. I, for one, appreciate your honesty. I like to think that there is some kind of universal etiquette along those lines, but you know, there is a wide spectrum of humanity out there! The person who made that comment is more likely responding to something within herself as opposed to anything you're doing. You just keep on keepin' on.
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