I had a moment of clarity today:
I was thinking about the old ladies who come up to me when I'm holding a baby (this happens often) and how they will tell me to enjoy my kids when they're young because they grow up so fast.
So, it dawned on me today, that, yes, I should enjoy my children while they are young. This should be my life's purpose, at this point in time. I want it to be.
Oftentimes I will sit here wondering what I should be doing with my life, and what will I do with my life after my children are grown and I'm left with an empty nest.
But it occurred to me today (fully) that I don't have to be wondering about that stuff now. I realized that, when my kids are grown, I'm not going to be sitting here thinking, "Now what?"
Because that is not me. I have never been the type to let my kids define who I am (Your children are not your children, they are sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself), but an important part of who I am created to be (for them, through them, and with them).
Instead, I will be saying, "What now?"
But, for now, my children are young. Those old ladies are right: this is really such a short phase in my life as a person, as a mother. I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to enjoy them. I'm going to enjoy every part of them and focus completely on my life within this family (and by "completely", I mean with balance to my life as an individual as well, because that is important).
Everything else can wait. I want it to wait.
For now.
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3 comments:
When people say this to me, I often wonder why it is implied that I will stop enjoying my children when they are older. It makes me feel sad that maybe these people raised children who then moved across the country and only see each other once a year and they all dont really like each other or have similar values. That may happen to my kids too, but who knows? Maybe we can stay close forever like most families around the world.
i love the way you wrote this, allison.
So true. I feel the same way--right now, this IS my life's purpose, and when this time has passed I will know what to do. Sometimes those old ladies really know their stuff!
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