Book Report - April

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this month's Book Report! Here are your books for this month:



Ready Player One - by Ernest Cline is so good, you guys! It made me feel like I was playing a video game, something I did a lot of when I was a good. And just real good writing and story and all that stuff too. It's being made into a movie, so read it now so we can all go to the movie together!






The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo - by Amy Schumer is super funny and it turns out that Amy Schumer can really write. This is on par with Tina Fey's Bossypants everybody! Tina Fey's Bossypants!





Commonwealth - by Ann Patchett spans several decades, and I tend to really like books that span a lot of decades. I like getting to see how the characters evolve over time.





Seinfeldia: How a Show About Nothing Changed Everything - by Jennifer Armstrong was a real fun and well done telling of all things Seinfeldian. If you've ever watched the show, you'll love this book.

Cat Wine

I was watching Shark Tank the other day, and an entrepreneur was looking to get a deal for his cat wine products.

Cat wine, people. Cat wine.

The cat wine had names such as Pinot Meow, Moscato, White Kittendel, Meowmosa, Catbernet, Meowgarita... you get the idea. (The product didn't contain any actual alcohol, just stuff like cat nip and beets.)

He went into the shark tank after selling this stuff for only 3 months, and he had already made $192,000 in sales.

$192,000 in sales, people. $192,000. For cat wine.

So, this got me to thinking...

If this guy can sell $192,000 in cat wine in three months, surely I can sell, oh, I don't know, let's say $500 a month for my movie every month. That can't be too hard, right? People are always getting pregnant and having babies, so there will always be new people in the market to see this movie.

Currently, I am averaging around $100/month in profits for my movie. (People stream it through Amazon.com for $2.99. Amazon takes a 50% cut, I get the rest. That's an average of 66 people streaming the movie each month.)

So, for the next several months, I'm going to actively work on marketing my movie more. This is something I should have done a long time ago, but never felt like doing. But, I feel like doing it now because, well, because of the cat wine. My marketing campaign will basically involve doing stuff on Pinterest (I know, Pinterest, right? Marketing on Pinterest is a thing, I guess) and writing guest blog posts on blogs much more popular than this one. That's the plan. That's where I'm going to start.

Let me know if you have any other ideas.

Seriously, cat wine. I don't understand the world.

(He ended up making a deal too: $100,000 for 20% of his company to Kevin.)

Ezra and Peace Create Their Own Recipes!

When I found (on Pinterest) and made a recipe for Million Dollar Spaghetti last week, I came to the conclusion that anybody could make a recipe. All you do is add a bunch of stuff that you like. As in the case of the Million Dollar Spaghetti, which consisted of noodles and spaghetti sauce, and lots and lots of cheese.

So, I told my kids that they should come up with a recipe. And they did! (Well, at least 2 out of the 4 did).

Peace made a bacon, ground beef, cheese and spaghetti casserole

And Ezra made a pasta with cheese, cream and ground beef.

And they made it all themselves and it was lovely.

Vern + My Mom

It occurred to me this weekend that my mom met the person who would go on to become my husband (that's Vern, for those of you following along at home) when she was 42 years old. My mom is now almost 65 years old, so they have known each other for almost 23 years. They are the best of friends and they talk to each other every day and text constantly. I'm kidding about all that stuff, but they do stuff like fart around each other, say inappropriate things while playing board games and have seen each other in their pajamas, so how much closer can two people get, really?

(They also pose for pictures like this for me just because I ask them to.)

Then, it occurred to me that I am going to be 42 years old in two short years! What people have I yet to meet that will go on to have such an impact on my life? A younger fellow that I can fart around and make jokes with and sit on his knee and stuff? I can't wait! And grandkids and stuff like that? Whole other beings who are yet to be created? That is going to be amazing.

Life is so weird, when you think about it, people. So weird. I can't wrap my head around stuff like this sometimes.

Baby Bird

You have to watch this adorable video. It's what Solomon does almost every time Vernon comes home. Check it out:

My March 2017 Blog Income Report

As I mentioned at the beginning of this month, I'm blogging again so that I can gain access to the $35 that has been sitting in my AdSense account for years. You can only cash in once the income threshold is reached, which is $100, so I've started actively blogging again in an attempt to reach that threshold.

So, I decided to update you monthly with my progress. You know, like all of those blogging professionals out there who put out their monthly income reports (which are in excess of thousands and thousands of dollars) and make it look easy, like it's something mere mortals like myself can accomplish.

Anyway, here is an update of how I'm doing:

Last month, I made $8.68 in Ad Revenue. Add that to the $35.01 that was sitting there for years, and I'm up to $43.69! Only $56.31 until I can cash in. If I continue at this rate, I'll get there in another 6-1/2 months.

Here's a fun little game that we can play:

What sorts of ads are you seeing? I'm curious. I think they're different for everybody, and targeted specifically for what you're looking at on the internet (maybe, I'm not exactly sure how they do it). Please put your response in the comment section or in the thread on Facebook (which will probably be a more popular option).