I'm Still Alive!

A couple of things...

1) I'm still alive. Our computer has just been in the shop (and still is). I'm at the library.

2) Peace's nickname is Peach. Or, Miss-a-Peachy.

3) We went to Rocky Mountain National Park yesterday and it was AMAZING. I will post pictures.

4) Nobody seemed too concerned about Goofy Mama's absence from cyberspace, which hurts my feelings slightly knowing that I am not the center of everybody's universe (which is probably a good thing).

Big Pizza Date Night?

My mom is coming into town next week. This means that Vern and I will be able to go out on a date because we will have a babysitter. This means that I have been looking into things to do on said date night.

One of the things that I thought of was trying to eat this giant pizza from local favorite Beau Jo's together:


Doesn't that seem like a romantic thing to do? What says love like EATING A 14 POUND PIZZA TOGETHER!

But I am only partially considering this because:

1) I don't like that it is a hamburger sausage combo type of pizza. That is not exactly my type of pizza.

2) I looked up how much a Papa Murphy's family-sized stuffed pizza weighs (because you all know how fond I am of Papa Murphy's Grilled Chicken and Bacon Stuffed pizza), and it only weighs 5 pounds. A measly 5 pounds! I could easily eat at least half that pizza if I wanted to, but that only puts me at 2.5 pounds. Making up another 4.5 pounds to eat half of a 14 pound pizza doesn't seem possible.

However, if we did do it, we would win $100 cash, plus free t-shirts (as well as getting the pizza itself for free).

This would not be Vernon's first time trying to win a food challenge.

He tried to eat this 4 pound "Ethyl" hamburger at The R-Place Family Eatery in Morris, Illinois... twice (once in 2002 and again, shown here, in 2006):

Then, in 2007, he tried to eat this 72 oz steak at the Big Texan in Amarillo, Texas:

He did not succeed in any of the endeavors.

So... what are some other ideas for date night?

The Legendary Man

I saw a man today who was wearing a shirt that read, THE MAN, which had an arrow pointing up toward his face, and THE LEGEND, which had an arrow pointing down toward his... you know.

And I was thinking that it would be really funny if I bought a shirt like that and started wearing it around.

Lessons Learned

I linked this from my Goofy Mama facebook page (you should really become a facebook fan if you haven't already, so you can get stuff like this, see sidebar on right), but I had to post this video here as well because I LOOOOOVE it so much!


P.S. If you ever wanted to know what Vern looks like naked, Matt in the video's body is amazingly similar. Maybe that's why I like it so much. No, the reason why I like it so much is because it is awesome. It is beautiful. It is brave. It is liberating and free. That's why I like it. I really like this Matt and Kim and they have other really good songs as well.

The Magician's Elephant

 by Kate DiCamillo
201 pages

If you haven't read a Kate DiCamillo book yet, it's time you start. I'm writing about The Magician's Elephant today, but go back and read Because of Winn-Dixie, The Tale of Despereaux, and The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane because they are all really, really, really, really, really outstanding books.

In The Magician's Elephant, Kate DiCamillo writes in an old-worldly fashion, and it is all just so well done and put together so well. I am grateful to have children so that I have the opportunity to read books like this to them. I just can't write enough about what a great author Kate DiCamillo is and what wonderful stories she crafts. I really don't need to describe this book other than to say that it is about a boy, an elephant, and his journey to find his sister.

The book will get your kids saying, "I was crippled. Crippled by an elephant." (as well as, "I intended only lilies!")

Ocean, age 7 - I just liked the whole thing of The Magician's Elephant. I think it's a really good book and I think that the person who writes it writes different books because when the person writes different books they don't sound like this one.

Ezra, age 4 - I like how Peter found Adele, that was his sister.

Mint Poop

Today we went to the Denver Mint and made some poop.

Peace is almost 14 months old and I put shoes on her feet for the first time today:

Up until today, she has been walking around with barefeet (because I LOOOOVE bare feet!). But I figured I'd better put some shoes on her for the Denver Mint, since it was an official government building and I didn't want to get arrested for not having shoes on her. P.S. Aren't the shoes great? A friend of mine made them especially for her (can you tell?).

A security guard walked through while we were waiting for the tour to start and he said, "Are you guys ready to finally see the government make cents?" Ha! There are only four places in the U.S. where that joke would be appropriate, and I feel so fortunate to have been privy to it.

There was a new tour guide starting out, giving the opening spiel, and Peace started squawking/screaming as she sometimes does when she is not doing exactly what she wants to be doing (i.e. sitting in my lap instead of walking around). And the tour guide says, "Oh" and looks to the more experienced tour guide as to what to do next. And the more experienced guide says, "Just go on." I let Peace off my lap, so as to get her to stop squawking, and she starts flopping on around on the floor, looking up at the ceiling and smiling. So she's still being a distraction even though she is now a happy distraction. The tour guide smiles at her and eventually gets through her opening. We all clapped for her and then got on with the tour (where more screaming and squawking occurred, just because that is how Peace rolls, but this time it wasn't that big of a deal because the more experienced tour guide was now conducting the rest of the tour).

Then we got home and made some poop:

We substituted/left out some of the ingredients (because that is how we roll). The recipe was from the book 100% Pure Fake, which is a pretty cool book.

And then we all ate poop:

The end.

In the House

Every day, we usually play this little game called "Let's Do Something To Get Out of Our Crappy Apartment". Such things have included Unschooling Park Days, trips to the library, a Taste of Colorado, nature centers, a La Leche League meeting, climbing a mountain, touring the Celestial Seasonings tea factory, trips to Whole Foods, an Attachment Parenting playgroup, trips to the park, a social mom's group at the church, going to Pearl Street, etc.

But for the past couple of days we have been sticking around the house because Ocean has been looking like this:

We think it started because on the day that those fires near Boulder started (Labor Day), we happened to be in Boulder at a Boulder Creek Festival where I was doing this (I apologize for the small picture. It was taken with Vernon's phone):

First, she felt fine, but she was losing her voice. Then, her voice was completely gone and she was tired all day for a couple of days. She is better now, but we're pretty sure she was probably having some sort of reaction to inhaling that smoke.

So, we've been at home, doing stuff like this for the past couple of days:

Ezra has made some friends with some boys in our apartment complex who seem to be pretty nice, so he goes outside to play with them absolutely every time he sees them outside. Peace watches him:

Here's Vernon:

And Peace again:

The Westminster Mall

We were walking around the Westminster Mall the other day. (Don't ask me why. Okay. Go ahead ask. It's because sometimes when we don't have anything to do, we go and walk around a mall.) Little did we know upon seeing the mall from the outside that the Westminster Mall was ONE OF THE LAMEST MALLS IN THE COUNTRY!

But, since I am known to enjoy lame stuff on occasion, I actually kind of enjoyed it. You know how I like it when places are quiet when it seems like they should be busy? Well, this mall fit that to a tee. Because out of over 200 storefronts, only 29 or so remained opened.

We walked down one wing where every single store was closed except at the very end there was a pet shop that was still open. And I'm thinking, "Who the heck would come to this pet shop?"

It kind of felt like we were the only people left on the planet, walking through that mall. It had a very weird energy. I was secretly pretending that we were like those teenagers in that movie Night of the Comet, who were the only ones left on Earth after a comet hit (does anybody else remember this movie? anybody? it was seriously a very formative movie from my youth). I love doing that.

I looked Westminster Mall up on the website deadmalls.com after we came home and read the history behind its success (from when it opened in 1977 up until the late 90's) and then subsequent demise (when Broomfield's Flatiron Crossing Mall opened in 2001). And that made me kind of sad, because it is never good when a mall dies.

Mama Pads

DISCLAIMER: Men, I will do you a favor and tell you to just stop reading this post right now.

I have made one more step into the crunchy world of hippie-dom... I am wearing cloth Mama Pads for the first time. They are surprisingly delightful! Seriously though, this is something that I had never really considered before. The whole concept just seemed too *out there* for me (I know, I know... I'm saying that something is *out there*. Go ahead. Have your little laugh). They just seemed like a lot of trouble, having to wash them, etc.

I had gotten some beautiful ones from a friend at my Going Away party, and I simply find them to be the best thing ever. They are more comfortable than I could have ever imagined. And it is not a big deal at all to wash them because I just throw them in with Peace's dirty diapers. Easy peesey.

Here's some questions for those of you in the know:

1. If you don't have diapers to throw them in with like I do, what do you do? Like, do you wash them separately? Or do you throw them in with your regular laundry?

2. Are you supposed to rinse them out beforehand?

3. What are your favorite brands of Mama Pads and where can I get some more of them? I only have four so far and would like to get some more. I have no idea what brand I'm wearing now (Sarah, are you reading this? Do you know?), but they are really good.

Now, let's think... with this off my list, what else do I have to do to be even more strange? Here is the list so far:

Unassisted Birth
Co-sleeping
Unschooling
Elimination Communication
Non-Circumcising 
Organic Eating
Extended Breastfeeding
Non-Vaccinating
Kombucha/Kefir Drinking
Mama Pads

I guess all that's left is to stop shaving my legs, but I don't think I'll ever do that because I enjoy having smooth legs (and armpits).

Note: This is just my life, people, and I am in no way attempting to judge anyone who does things differently. I welcome people of all walks of life to read this blog (shavers and non-shavers alike!). And I'm only kidding about having a list and doing things in order to cross them off of said list of strangeness. This just happens to be how my life has evolved.

The Comedy Club

I got out of the house last night with some fellow chiropractic student wives who I knew in Minnesota and who's husbands also happen to be interning in Colorado. It was so nice and familiar and comfortable and rejuvenating. We're going to make it a monthly thing, where we each plan a different activity for each month we're all here (September, October and November).

Last night, we went to a comedy club.

Here were some of my favorite jokes:

One comic was talking about how placentas are used in make-up, and he says, "So I guess Maybelline was right, ladies. Maybe you really are born with it."

"A waitress asked me if I wanted a box for my food, so I punched her in the face."

Ah, good times. Good times. I would be even happier to make these outings a bi-monthly event.

Or weekly.

Or daily.

Decisions, Decisions

With the exception of Ezra (who was planned only a couple of months in advance), I planned to get pregnant at least two years in advance with my other two pregnancies. This clearly shows that I am a planner, people. A planner.

So, when something comes along that was not planned for (as in, Vernon not getting accepted into the chiro training program and, thus, not knowing what we'll do next), I don't know what to do with myself. I don't like NOT knowing. Everything else in our lives has changed enough already. I would at least like to know what happens next. Remember, I have a structured mind, people. A STRUCTURED MIND!

This is especially hard when Vernon keeps putting off making the decision on what to do (open his own practice, or associate for a year). QUESTION: Does it sound like I'm being passive-aggressive, knowing full well that Vernon will be reading this? ANSWER: A resounding yes! Make a decision, Vernon!

See, Vernon is the type of person who, when looking over a menu at a restaurant, is always the last to decide what to order. He is the type of person who takes forever when it is his turn to do something (ANYTHING!) when playing board games. I've known this about him for a long time. It is just the way that he operates.

But, c'mon! Pick an item from the menu, play your card... and MAKE A FREAKING DECISION!

Bush

"This smells like bush." - Ezra, after using a pair of scissors to trim some shrubbery

On Judgment

Last week, an anonymous poster left some really mean-spirited comments on my blog. (Thanks for sticking up for me, Rachael!). One was under the post Five Things, where she wrote:

I think it's interesting that you spend your entire pregnancy trying to do what's right for the baby, but then you decide to give birth at home because of the experience you want. Selfish, indeed.

You remind me of Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in "Away We Go." With your "unschooling" and "lotus birth" BS. That is not a compliment.

And the other was under the post Once Upon a Child:

You are amazingly judgmental. It's not funny. It's pathetic.

So, yeah. There it is.

I'm assuming the poster is not reading my blog anymore. I don't know why she would be... (although, apparently, she read enough of it in the first place to comment on two different posts made almost a month apart, as well as knowing that I'm an unschooler and have done lotus births.)

It is difficult to define where the line between passion, belief, and annoyance with the dichotomy of the human culture ends and judgment begins. Within the world of birth and parenting, it is doubly hard.

When I say something like, "I think that, barring an emergency, home is the best place to give birth," I am not trying to be judgmental any more than when I say, "Grilled Chicken and Bacon Stuffed Pizza is the absolutely BEST pizza you can get at Papa Murphy's."

That is just WHAT I THINK. It is WHAT I BELIEVE (in both cases).

My mind is extremely structured in this way, THAT'S WHAT THE PSYCHIC SAID!

Like, when I'm in Papa Murphy's watching everybody ordering pizzas that are NOT Grilled Chicken and Bacon Stuffed, I don't say anything to them about their choices. I don't judge them. I don't try to make them feel bad about it. But, since I am so passionate about the Grilled Chicken and Bacon Stuffed Pizza at Papa Murphy's, I will then come home and write about it on my blog.

Why aren't people getting offended by that?

Granted, I do admit that I might be judgmental about certain things... like the whole circumcision thing (I'm assuming the poster didn't see that one, or she really would have let me have it), and maybe the gallbladder/douche bag thing (although, I'm a bit hesitant to label that one as judgment... it can more accurately be attributed to the workings of my structured mind in that I saw the most logical solution to the problem, but then I was a prick about it because my mom didn't listen to my advice. It wasn't a good thing for me to be a prick, but it wasn't necessarily judgment either).

I don't know. Judgment can be tricky because that line can be so thin and/or confusing.

In closing, here is my advice which I have been giving to my husband every day since I've visited the psychic: "Remember... I am smart. I make good choices. You should listen to me."

My Take on the Psychic

My visit with the psychic was a very powerful, spiritual experience. I would highly recommend it. (And if you want the contact information for the psychic I visited, please e-mail me privately at goofymama@hotmail.com and I'll get it out to you. She'll do in-person readings if you live in the Minneapolis area, but she'll also do them over the phone as well.)

Here's my take:

First of all, I was kind of surprised at how much she talked about education surrounding me and how smart I am.

Because, here's the thing... I don't really think I'm that smart. Back when I was in Minnesota, I actually commented to my friends about how smart they all were (so well-read, so articulate and able to communicate their intelligence), and how I didn't feel I was able to keep up with them. (I'm really good at surrounding myself with smart people, at least. Vernon's a real nerd too.)

I only got a 23 on my ACT scores. My high school GPA was, like, a 3.85. I went to a technical college instead of a regular university because I "didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life and didn't want to spend all that money figuring it out." So, I got a certificate in desktop publishing (which is really just a poor man's version of a graphic designer) from the technical college in East Grand Forks, MN and that was that.

I asked my friends who had visited the psychic first, "So... did she talk a lot about how smart you were?" thinking that maybe it might just be what she does. But they said, "No, not really." (And then I felt kind of like a turd for asking that. Albeit, a very smart turd.)

So, I don't know, maybe it was just something I needed to hear. But it's nice because now I can pepper my conversations with Vernon with, "I'm smart. I make good decisions. You should listen to me."(Which hasn't really helped much.)

Anywho... I don't really see myself as a teacher, and certainly not in the most traditional sense of the word. But I do like to learn. I like to study things. I like to read. I like to spell things correctly. I guess I was just expecting something more... interesting (for my life's purpose).

When she talked about "a shift unfolding in Colorado", I think I may have figured out what that shift is. Hold on to your hats here, my dear internet, because this is going to be a big one:

You know how we were going to move to Florida for Vernon to do some chiropractic business training for 6-8 months after he graduates?

Well, he wasn't accepted into the program.

Now Vern thinks that he should associate for a year to learn the ins-and-outs of a chiropractic business. So he'll have to find a doctor to do that under (and I don't know where that will be because it can't be with just ANY chiropractic doctor... it has to be with a chiropractic doctor who is NOT a douche bag).

When we first learned that he wasn't accepted into the training (which was only a couple of weeks ago), we toyed with the idea of him opening up his practice right after graduation (or as soon as possible after getting all of the business ducks in a row thereafter). I got excited about that idea. It would mean settling down. It would mean we would be done with all of this transitional stuff (because all of this transitional stuff ended up being a lot harder on me than I expected).

Remember when I was all, like, life is a journey... blah, blah, blah. And, although it is a good one, I've been having a hard time embracing that sentiment lately. It's not even so much that I miss Minnesota (although I do), it is more that I am left with these feelings of unrest and of being unsettled.

And now, with Vern going to associate FOR A YEAR, those feelings have been extended even further.

I don't know how Brad and Angelina do it, traipsing around the world, raising their many children. I'm craving stability.

So, yeah, that's a shift. More changes to get used to (especially when we were planning on one thing for so long and it didn't work out).

Oh, and remember how the psychic said something about seeing a rubber band, snapping us back from Colorado to Minnesota? Well, if we look back on my conversation with that other psychic from May, she also said something about having to go back to Minnesota (in her case, it had to do with paperwork for the sale of our house). But that is interesting, eh?

I guess that's it.

More on the Visit with the Psychic

Here is the rest of it. I'll comment with my thoughts on all of it tomorrow.

Is anything I should know about my kids?

"There's a girl, then boy, then girl, right?" Yes. She said that Ocean, "feels physical and cerebral. Very curious. Very, very smart. She's brilliant! Lots of words. A college-level vocabulary and you're not giving her enough credit for that. She needs to be really challenged so she can be comfortable in her physical body. She is going to be competing competitively. She thrives in structure to help her understand her body more. I see her getting a four-year scholarship for athletics.

"All of your kids ooze sweetness. They are gentle, peaceful souls. All extremely smart. Extremely healthy. They are all independent, will never be traditional thinkers. I can't feel any impurities in their blood at all. Do you eat organic?" Yes. "They are very healthy."

"Ezra is very kind and gentle. Does he have light brown hair?" Yes. "I see him around food. He's all about food. Does he like to cook?" Sometimes.

"Peace is your creative one. I see her as cute and dainty and likes to dance and sing. She likes to pretend. She wants to be free, and will embrace the whole concept of freedom in a way that you're not prepared for."

"You're going to continue to be a great parent. This is part of your life's purpose."

Do you see me doing anything more with my photography?

"Yes! It's a total stress relief for you. It helps you see the beauty in things." I thought I was doing that already, seeing the beauty. "You don't. You see the responsibility - in your marriage, kids.

"I don't see divorce for you at all. Do people tell you that you're a good match?" Yes. "You're a good match."

Do you see me doing anything more within the birth world?

"Like what?" I don't know. More birth photography? "Yes!" A midwife? "I could see you as an alternative type of midwife. I'm seeing someone birthing in the water." But I don't really want to be a midwife. I think it would be too much responsibility. "But you'd be smart enough about it to do the right thing. You are so smart."

"There is all this education around you. You could just be anything in the world that you want. Nutrition is important to you. You could teach about it. You are like an event planner. You're all-embracing of people... as long as they're smart. You don't have tolerance for ignorance or stupidity."

Can you see my dead grandma?

"She feels like a thin lady." No, she wasn't thin at all. "She feels thin because she wants people to know that she felt younger than most people her age. Super happy! Smiled a lot. Happy in life. She's waving her hand. Private. She's got her youth back. Was she 85?" Yes. (READER'S NOTE: Grandma actually died one day before her 85th birthday, which was 7 years ago TODAY.)

Will my blog would be successful?

"It's about food, kids... you're teaching through your blog! Homeschooling, everything about you is a teacher." Will it make any money? "No money. In 5-7 years it could make money. It's slowly getting readers.

"Purification... you could teach safe detox through process. Maybe further down the road, on your blog, when people would start paying for it."

Do you see me developing my intuition more?

"It could develop if you lost your process and learn how to submit (and you don't like that word)" You're right. I don't like that word. 

I asked her something about my sister.

"You two are really close." No, not really. "I'm shocked. I see you two as very close, or you will be. She feels like you judged her too much." I have heard that before, but I don't understand it because I don't feel like I judge anybody. "That's because your mind is so structured! When you say something about how you do things, because it's easy for you to see how things should be, and you make such good choices. Then, if they're not doing that, it feels like judgment." Oh.

"I don't feel strong family ties for you, except for you husband and kids. I don't see anything about your dad. You're very independent. You're going to do what you want, when you want. You make good choices."

Do you think we could get my mom to Vermont with us?

"She could. Your mom's a follower, so she could. She followed your dad." But would that be good for her to move there if it means that she's still being a follower? "(excited) Yes! because she could meet her life partner there." (You hear that mom... YOU COULD MEET YOUR LIFE PARTNER THERE!)

Will we like Colorado?

"I see you learning. I keep seeing the image of cattle being herded. A shift is going to unfold in Colorado." What shift? "Don't know yet. I am also seeing a rubber band, like it's snapping you back to Minnesota."

What are my spirit guides like?

"Your spirit guides are educators, serious, academic advisers. Kind of funny."

And here is just one other thing that she mentioned...

"I keep hearing this thing about a brother. Do you have a brother?" No. "A half brother?" No. "I keep hearing brother."

I just wrote an e-mail to my mom that said, "Do I have a brother that I don't know about?" And my mom replied with, "What?!?!?!?!?!?!? If you do, I don't know about him either. Where did you hear that?" (I'm still waiting to hear a reply from my dad.)

So, that's it folks. I'll comment about all of this tomorrow. There's plenty to say about all of this.

My Visit With (Another) Psychic

So, I was debating whether to post about this here or not, given that I had just talked with a psychic in May, and I didn't want to be seen as "that weird psychic addict". But, for posterity's sake, I thought I might as well write about it.

About three weeks ago, I visited with another psychic. This one came highly recommended from friends, and I actually got to meet with her at her home and talk with her in person (as opposed to the phone consult with the other one). So, I was curious what she had to say.

I have also been doing a great deal of study on psychics and the spiritual realm as of late, and it is a subject of fascination for me. I am drawn to it. I used to be a person who was scared of such things and thought that psychic stuff was the devil's work. I'm not that person anymore. Now, I have come to see them as people doing God's work. Psychics that I've read up on such as Echo Bodine, Sylvia Browne and Doreen Virtue are all Christians who happen to have a very clear connection to God, angels, spirit guides and all the rest. And they use this connection to help, because that's what it's there for.

So, as you may have surmised from my life situation the last couple of months, I have been feeling a little bit "lost" lately. I've been feeling like I could use some guidance, some help, with general things in my life (location, life's purpose, etc). A wise soul by the name of George Harrison once said, "If you are not questioning why you're here on Earth, what is the point of being here at all?"

Let us begin:

The first thing the psychic said when I sat down to talk with her (in what would end up being a 2-1/2 hour conversation) was that she saw education around me. A lot of it.

I'm thinking, okay, that's great. Let's get onto my questions.

Where will we end up living and opening up Vernon's chiropractic practice?

She wasn't really seeing anything, so I asked about Burlington, Vermont. She got VERY excited about that and said, "Yes, that feels like a very good fit. You are so East Coast. So right on. I see a bunch of trees. It feels like a quaint neighborhood. Middle class. You will all feel right at home there."

Will Vernon be a successful chiropractor?

"He's going to be very successful. He's taller, right? A great father, great provider. He's an observer. You're both observers... you both evaluate things to the nth degree and then a little bit longer. Success might not manifest in the way he things it will."

What is my life's purpose?

"There's an element of being lost. A blankness, like your dreams are on hold. That blankness is going to be awhile, but that might be doing the perfect thing for the time being, while you're kids are so young.

"I see you as a teacher.You're bringing kids together. Leading homeschooling groups. You're a compassionate person. Your body needs to be physical. It's important for you to run. That's part of your body's stress reliever. I can't see you strolling. Everything you do is for a purpose. You're a very fortunate woman, a good mother. You're a very good friend. Very stable. Smart. You are brilliant. Extremely smart. You've been born into fortune. Good luck is on your shoulders.

"Your energy, I see it in this order: education, physical fitness, nutrition, God. I see you around children. You could write children's books on nutrition. You're an attentive thinker. You are very creative and your physical-ness is an outlet you don't really use. You are all about serving your family right now.

"You are more structured than you think. Your mind is very, very structured.

"I see you teaching about structure within a non-structured environment.

"You're going to learn a lot from your kids. You are meant to teach. You are good! You have amazing ideas. Amazing ideas around cooking. I see you as being an untraditional teacher. You're teaching untraditionally. You are brilliant.

"Your learning is very structured. You came here to teach. Please share your intelligence so your kids can know how amazing you are. You have many things to share, so share them!

"You came in with a great amount of fortune. You make great decisions. Your husband is motivated by logic."

- THERE IS MORE, BUT THIS IS GETTING LONG, SO IT IS... TO BE CONTINUED -