Pollyanna

by Eleanor H. Porter
256 pages

I haven't been reading a lot of chapter books with the kids lately because Vern usually handles most of bedtime with the older kids (he's on the last of the Chronicles of Narnia books), and Peace makes it hard for me to read to the kids any other time. But we did manage to finish this book.

It was lovely. Pollyanna plays 'the glad game' where she finds something to be glad about with anything that happens. It's sweet and something that we should all be play in our everyday lives.

When you read this book, you'll have to try not to laugh at the amount of times the author uses the words "ejaculate" and "erect" in everyday speak. ("Well, I never! Now, what does she mean by that?" ejaculated Mrs. Snow.) It's funny and constant.

"Exciting at the end, and I liked the glad game." - Ezra, age 6

"I really, really, really, really, really liked it. And it is a good book. I recommend reading it." - Ocean, age 8

"Stop reading Pollyanna Mama." - Peace, age 2

On Happiness

I haven't been happy lately.

Then it occurred to me that there might be something about winter. Remember last winter, when I was going on and on about those knives? And the winter before that, when I was just going through that weird postpartum stuff with Peace?And now this year, with the stupid cancer and family drama stuff?

But now I'm starting to think that none of those things had anything to do with it. Now I'm starting to think that it is just because it's the onset of winter.

Because remember, in the summer, I was all like, I haven't updated much because I'm so happy?

Because it was summer then. And now it is winter. And I'm finding it hard to smile.

I think I might need one of those Full Spectrum Light things.

That is all.

Homebirth

Oh, homebirths are so wonderful.

I took photos at a birth the other night (click here if you want to see them), and it has occurred to me that more people should have homebirths because you just won't have moments/pictures like this in a hospital. (And I didn't even put up the pictures that showed the baby being born in the caul... you won't get that in a hospital either).

Why are only 1% doing it? Study upon study has shown that it is just as safe as a hospital birth (minus all those interventions). I think that part of it is because some women don't even realize that it is an option. That's why I'm telling you. (Because, if you haven't had a homebirth, you don't know what you're missing.)

On a related note: I'm going to see Ina May Gaskin talk tonight.

Oh, Peace

Sometimes I try to sneak off and go to the bathroom without Peace. But then she finds me and screams at me to go to the bathroom again. So I do. (Or, at least, I pretend to.)

Why do I do this, you may ask?

Because it's easier.

Because two years olds are unreasonable and it's easier than listening to the screaming.

So, the whole family is very accommodating to Peace, not wanting to make the loud noises start. ("Don't do that, you might make her cry." "Quick, put the monkey back on the dresser. That's where she wants it.") We're like that one family in Twilight Zone: The Movie. The family that does anything the young boy says (because if they don't, he will remove their mouths).

Some may say that we're spoiling her, but they are wrong. This is not about spoiling. This is about not wanting to listen to the screaming because it hurts our ears.

She is utterly incapable of being reasoned with... because she's two. So, this is what we do.

I am not particularly that familiar with this type of two year old behavior, because my oldest was always quiet and my middlest was always happy.

The only other thing that can be done at times like that is a parenting technique called "distraction" or "re-direction". This is where if she screams at me to go to the bathroom again, I respond with something clever like, "Hey, look at that couch!" or "Do you want to get a banana?"

But this tactic takes more time and effort (not to mention bananas), because you have to think of something (it's not as easy as it looks).

One time, we were at the park, and I tried to be all authoritative and insisted that she get down from the slide because it was time to go home. She didn't want to, so I removed her from the slide and strapped her in the stroller ("Hey look! A stroller!). We started walking home. And she screamed and screamed and somehow managed to wriggle her way out of being buckled in her stroller. It was obviously not going to work, so we turned around and I put her back on the slide. She sat there for a little while, slid down, and then was ready to go home.

So, that's the last time I try to be authoritative with a two year old. They just don't get it.

Here is a quote that I like that I think is reflective of Peace:

You'll find it easier to stay present if you hold this thought: Children who have strong feelings are blessed with strong Inner Guidance. - Scott Noelle.

I have felt since Day One that Peace knows what she wants out of life. I don't want to stifle that in her or tell her that what she's feeling is wrong. She knows what she wants out of life, and she's upset when she doesn't get it. (Hmm... sound like anybody else you know? Now, if only I could stop acting like a toddler.)

Balki Bartokomous Talks About Tom Cruise

For reasons unbeknownst to anybody (including myself), I was looking up stuff on actor Bronson Pinchot today (you know, the actor who played Balki Bartokomous in the groundbreaking television show Perfect Strangers).

Anyway, I came across this little gem of a quote, where Bronson talks about his Risky Business co-star, Tom Cruise:

"He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, "You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?"

Just thought that was too good not to share. That is the best unrelated gay comment I have ever heard.

(This is how I spend my Saturday nights, people. Jealous?)

Stop It

I've been on a roller coaster of emotions lately. One minute I'm happy and detached, the next, I'm writing weird things about candles and ultrasounds.

I was complaining about something to Vernon the other night (it was probably about how I can't stop having thoughts like a crazy person), and he showed me this video:



Enough said.

Candles and Ultrasounds

I was driving around a cemetery tonight (because who doesn't like cemeteries?), and I saw a bunch of candles lit up. Upon closer inspection, it turns out that they weren't real candles at all, but battery-operated ones. (Which made me wonder how it was that the whole cemetery was lit up with them at once. There must have been at least 20. Were they on some sort of timer? Do battery-operated things even have timers? Does someone come out every night to turn them on?)

But enough about all that. It's all pretext for the thought that came next, which was something along the lines of how much I love candles. Real, actual candles. The ones with flames that you light with a match. Or a lighter. Or whatever have you.

And then I got to thinking about how when people give birth in a hospital, they can't have real candles. They can only have those battery-operated ones. And I got to thinking how sucky and pathetic that was. Those stupid, fake candles. All those people giving births in hospitals without any real candles.

Poor things.

And that started to make me angry about other things. (I've been angry a lot lately, due to other circumstances... those other circumstances mainly having to do with internal issues which I haven't quite figured out how to remedy yet. Our outside life is a reflection of our internal, remember that.)

So, anyway, then I started to get angry about this picture of a 6 week ultrasound on facebook from someone I used to know (who I am almost 99% sure doesn't read this blog so I feel like I can write about this freely without getting into trouble. But, I'm not really saying anything bad about him/her, just my reaction to it. That's fair, right? I'm allowed to have feelings. Plus, they're just doing what the rest of society is doing. What do they care what I think?)

But, anyway, I started thinking, are hospitals doing 6 week ultrasounds now? Really? (I don't really keep abreast of what hospitals are doing anymore, because it's a waste of my time, and I don't really care.)

But, the topic of ultrasounds has always annoyed me. I just don't understand the purpose of them. Or, the "routine use of them", I should say (so I don't get in trouble). I mean, if they find something *wrong* (and what is "wrong" anyway), "doctors aren't going to be able to do anything about it anyway" (that was a quote from my mom, people. My mom.)

So, what's the point? Or, if that IS the point, then why get more of them? Isn't one just good enough? And why at 6 weeks? What is a 6 week ultrasound going to tell you (besides dates)?

And nobody but me seems to care about the effects of ultrasound anyway.

A large study in the United States of more than 15,000 pregnant women showed no improvement in the mortality rate of the babies if ultrasound is routinely used during pregnancy.

And a couple of studies showed that ultrasounds increased left-handedness. Now, that may not seem like much on the surface, because what's the big deal about being left-handed? But what it does show is that ultrasounds DO affect neurological development in some way (because otherwise there wouldn't be an increase in left-handedness)... so how ELSE does it affect it?

Not to mention that ultrasounds sound like jackhammers to the poor little fetuses. And most people don't even know that Dopplers and the Electronic Fetal Monitor are also forms of ultrasound (it's not just about the scan). The EFM is really a big one. And some women are on it for a long time when they're in labor (and, unlike the scan, it's a continuous form of ultrasound). So, don't even get me started on the EFM. (Don't get me started. Don't even get me started.)

I wonder if my husband remembered to pick up the kids from religion.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that ultrasounds are going to ruin a kid's life. Obviously, 99% of kids today are walking around having had an ultrasound prenatally, and they seem be doing alright (although, what is the definition of "alright" anyway)? But there really is so much more too it.

"In fact, the FDA and professional medical associations know that prenatal ultrasound can be dangerous to humans, which is why they have consistently warned against the nonmedical or keepsake ultrasound portrait studios that have cropped up in malls throughout the country."

So, I'm not the only one saying it.

But enough about that. So, did Vernon remember to pick the kids up or not? I don't know. I don't know.

I'm just such a naturalist. None of this non-real candles, ultrasound stuff makes any sense to me.

I was reading this post in the Bad Catholic blog, and he ends it with this statement:

"The point is this: My Dear Catholics, do not be afraid to proclaim the Gospel with confidence. There existed an age that demanded incredible subtlety, an age when heresies made actual claims and a time for delicate evangelization. This, the Age of Stupidity, is not it. This is an age that requires us to boldly claim absolutes, for no one else is doing so."

So, birth is my truth, and I want to proclaim it. Nobody believes in it anymore. We living in the Age of Stupidity, and people don't know the truth. I just want to tell people the truth.

I know that I can't change people (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change), but I certainly don't need to stop proclaiming the truth. About birth. About candles. About cancer. About everything. Or not. I don't even know anymore. I'm losing interest in this already.

Now where is Vern? They should have been home by now.

Oh, there they are. They're home.

Here is a good song. Good night.

Something People Don't Tell You

Much like how weird it is to poop the first time after giving birth, or how sometimes you will buckle the kids up early just so you can go back into the house to have a minute to yourself, there is something else that people don't tell you about when you have kids...

You're eventually going to have to start doubling meals.

See, when you first have a kid, meal-planning is easy. You pretty much eat the same as you did before kids because the babe is just sucking on the boob for the first year of life.

But then they grow up. And then you have another kid. And another.

And you're left in the position that I am in today. On the threshold of having to double meals for my family.

The time has come, but I am resisting it. Just when I have a good system in place, I have to go and figure out something new.

Some people have commented to me how, since we're living with Vern's brother, he's lucky to have someone cook for him (because they mistakenly assume that either because I am, 1) a woman, or 2) living rent-free in his home, that I am cooking for him). Little do they know that I struggle enough with feeding my own family, that I feel utterly incapable of feeding another mouth.

This cooking stuff is not easy, people. It really is a full-time job. You have to plan the meals, buy the food for said meals, clean up after the meals, so on and so forth, three meals a day, seven days a week. It's never ending.

I enjoy cooking, for the most part, but there is something about doing it day in and day out that makes the activity tedious and chore-like some of the time.

And then, add to that, all the other basic household stuff that you have to do... like picking up toys, laundry, etc. If you're a normal person, a family of five is going to generate a lot of laundry, possibly making it on par with the "making meals" thing. But, if you're me, well, you know how I feel about laundry. And, on top of all that, you're supposed to find time to tend to and interact with your children. (And kudos to mothers who work outside the home as well. I don't know how you do it.)

I don't even know how I'm going to go about doubling some of my recipes... like, will I need to use another skillet (because some of my recipes fill my already-big skillet to the brim already). How much leftovers will we have and how will I account for those with meal planning for the next day (like, I imagine we'll have some leftovers, but not enough to feed the whole family again).

It's not easy, I tell you. It's not easy.

I just thought I'd let you know, in case nobody else does.

(And, also, it's going to feel weird to poop for the first time after you have a baby.)