William Emerson Consult, Part 1

About six months ago, I took Peace in for a consultation with birth psychologist, William Emerson.

I took her in because I felt like I was having a little difficulty in connecting with her and I didn't know why. William Emerson specializes in healing birth trauma. And, even though Peace had a lovely little natural birth, I still felt like he could do something to help us (everybody probably has a little birth trauma, no matter how natural the birth). I lovingly refer to him as a "baby whisperer" because he seems to be able to communicate with infants in a way like no other.

Like, one of the things he said that Peace was feeling was, "I thought the birth would be easy, and I was disappointed when it wasn't." HELLO? That was exactly how I was feeling about the birth. Coincidence that he should say that? I think not.

Another thing: He asked me, "At what times do you spend looking into each others eyes during the day?" And I think I said something like, "Oh, when we're nursing," or something like that. But what I was really thinking was, Oh, crap. I've been forgetting to look into her eyes. Because, after all the things that I was remembering to do (like changing her, carrying her, nursing her, comforting her, taking care of my other kids, cooking, cleaning, diapers, etc.), I had FORGOTTEN ABOUT LOOKING INTO HER EYES! Ah!

And he can basically tell what kind of birth a person had (young or old) just by looking at them. He's fascinating. (I want to learn how to do what he does someday.)

So, basically, almost immediately after our consultation, Peace and I started connecting more than we ever had before. And then she started riding well in the car. Yes, after crying every time she went in the car from birth to 5 months, she stopped within a couple of weeks after our consultation with Emerson. Coincidence? I think not.

Now, tomorrow, Emerson is back in town (he is from Seattle and comes to Minneapolis every six months or so) and I have a consultation set up for Ocean. With Ocean, I definitely feel that she has some birth trauma issues that need to be resolved. The midwife lost her heart tones right before I pushed her out, and she ended up having the cord wrapped tightly around her neck three times.

So, what I've been noticing with her now is that she is afraid to make mistakes. She is afraid of doing the wrong thing. It's like something is holding her back from expressing herself fully. I'm hoping our visit with William Emerson tomorrow will help her with this. I will let you know how it goes.

- TO BE CONTINUED -

How We Spent Our Anniversary

Here's what we looked like today, on our 11 year anniversary:

It wasn't so much a celebration of our anniversary inasmuch as it was THE FIRST TIME WE WERE LEAVING PEACE WITH A BABYSITTER. This was a very big deal for me. We left the kids with a most wonderful couple who swaps babysitting with us, and all went well during the 2 hours that we were gone for a lunch date.

We went to The Cheesecake Factory, and I had this amazing pasta called the Spicy Chicken Chipotle Pasta. It had honey glazed chicken, asparagus, red and yellow peppers, peas, garlic and onion in a spicy chipotle Parmesan cream sauce. It was heavenly. I highly, highly, highly, highly, highly recommend it. I got the lunch sized portion which was 2/3 the size of the regular portion (yes, I asked). It came in a bowl and I was eating it for at least 10 minutes and it didn't even look like I had made a dent in it. That seemed kind of magical and never-ending (which I like in a meal). Then, Vern and I split White Chocolate Caramel Macadamia Nut Cheesecake, which I also recommend. Am I making anyone else hungry yet?

This is what we looked like last year (when we took part in that event-which-I-shall-never-speak-of):

I don't have a picture of us from 2008, but we went to The Melting Pot.

And this was us in 2007 when we ate at Maggiano's:

I don't have a picture from 2006 either, but that is when we ate at the Macaroni Grill.

In 2005, we went to the Chanhassen Dinner Theater (notice how I am wearing the same dress from 2009... that is my fancy pregnancy dress... I got it for less than a dollar at a garage sale):

And then this is us from 2004 when we ate at Jerusalem's... (look at what babies we were and look at how I've never really changed my hairstyle since then):

And that is all of the pictures I have on my computer from our anniversaries (and I'm too lazy to scan in the ones that are printed and in photo albums... maybe another day). I don't even have a picture from our wedding to share with you all either. Oh well.

So, it has been a lovely anniversary, and I'm glad the babysitting went well. I'll try it again in 48 days when the movie Inception is released. If you all haven't heard of that movie yet, two word: Christopher Nolan. And three more words: Joseph Gordon Levitt. (Oh, and Leonardo DiCaprio is in it too). Must. See. That. Movie.

Pickles, Victoria's Secret, and Our Anniversary

A couple of random things:

1) At playgroup today, a stay-at-home dad friend of mine said to his toddler, "Do you want a bite of my pickle?" To which I interjected, "That's what she said." Which doesn't even make any sense, if you stop to think about it.

2) My daughter took a gift to a friend's birthday party and it was wrapped in a Victoria's Secret gift bag.

3) It's my anniversary tomorrow. Eleven years. Last year, for our big 10 year anniversary, we did the lamest thing in the history in the universe and I don't even want to write about it here because it makes me want to throw up every time I think about it. And it was MY idea. (P.S. I won't be saying anymore about this unless somebody pays me money to do so.)

Psychic Reflections

I was thinking a bit about my conversation with the psychic the other day, and I really get the feeling (because I have psychic feelings too, right?) that she wasn't seeing very far into my future. I mean, other than the fact she said I was going to have a son with brown hair and brown eyes sometime in my lifetime, I think she pretty much only got a sense for how things would be no more than a year from now.

Like, with the "where should we live" thing, I think she sensed Florida because that is where we will be moving when Vern does his chiro training there. And with my "life's purpose thing", I think she pretty much just sensed things that I am doing now.

So, she did a good job at reading where I am at now, but I didn't really feel like I got a lot of information about the future. And I'm not entirely sure what I was hoping to get from the session in the first place. I am certainly all about making our own choices and own decisions (and I know I don't need a psychic to do so)... but I just felt like we needed a little guidance, especially with the location thing.

I'm going to stop thinking about that now though, and just let things evolve as they will. Seriously, people, I have been thinking about this for YEARS (just ask my friends, they are sick of it, I'm sure). Where should we live? What kind of community should we live in? What size? What part of the country? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Enough already. This move is over a year away, and I don't need to be a horse chomping to get out of the gates or feel like I'm behind (her words, again, reflecting what I am feeling now), because I'm not behind. Life will work itself out, as it always does. Life has never NOT worked itself out... not once... ever.

And I will still be just Allison, Goofy Mama, sitting in a chair, drinking a cup of tea... no matter where I am.

Picture Day

I am just going to post pictures today. We were at the creek by Minnehaha Falls. (Ocean took the first picture.)

Facebook

I still have one more question to get to, and then I will be all done answering everyone's questions. Well done with the questions, by the way, people. You really made me think.

But first I wanted to point out that if you are not following me on facebook yet, you can hit that facebook button here in the right-hand sidebar and become a fan. And the reason you should do this is because I've started posting interesting articles, findings, and studies on there that I don't write about here.

For instance, last week I sent out this article on sunscreen. It's a really good article, and it basically explains why my family doesn't want/need to wear sunscreen. It's fascinating stuff. One of my friends had this to say about sunscreen:

You know, for me, it just seems like a common sense situation. On one hand, you've got the sun: life-giving, natural and essential. On the other hand, you've got sunscreen (and the million other skin and hair care products we use): full of unidentifiable chemicals that we slather on ourselves every day that make billions of dollars for manufacturers. One of these is contributing to my increased risk of cancer. Hm, I wonder which one?

So, if you're interested in things like that (and other things), become Goofy Mama's friend on facebook. I also post a notice on facebook whenever I update this blog (or, almost every time).

Oh, and I asked our farmers what they do with their baby cows, as per that one question last week, and she told me that they do NOT separate their baby cows until about 5 months. Good to know.

My Conversation with a Psychic

So, we have been having some issues determining where to live, right? Basically, we have no idea where we're going to be living after Vern is done with his chiropractic training (so if any of you have any ideas, please let me know!). This was my impetus in wanting to visit with a psychic. I wanted her to tell us where she saw us living.

I read a good book about psychic abilities when I was looking into everything. It was called The Gift: Understand and Develop Your Psychic Abilities by Echo Bodine. She is a Christian and talks a lot about how she sees her abilities as a gift from God to help others. I liked that. It also explained how psychics get their messages. How they interpret them

So, anyway, I did some research on some area psychics and I set up a half hour appointment with Alison James. I called her at Noon today. I wrote out a list of a bunch of questions ahead of time that I wanted to ask her.

When she answered, I spent the first 5 minutes just reading off my questions as she wrote them down. Then, for the remaining 25 minutes, she answered as many as she could get to before we ran out of time. Here is what we came up with (I just took notes, so this is not word-for-word from our conversation, but it's probably pretty close):

Where are we meant to live when my husband is done with his chiropractic training in the latter part of 2011?

It feels like you're in a huge hurry, like a horse chomping to get out of the gates. You feel like you're behind.

I like to be prepared, I guess.

Everything is brand spanking new to all of you, semi-tropical. Bustling. Right on the water.

Vern is going to be doing some additional training in Naples, Florida, after he graduates. I was wondering where we would be after that.

(She doesn't really come up with anything, and says that she just keeps feeling this semi-tropical, bustling kind of place.)

When will our house sell?

I see it selling very abruptly. Like you're in transition, in between, and the timing is off.

Like, when we move to Colorado in August? Is that the transition?

I keep getting that it couldn't be worse timing. Like you just get to Colorado and then you have to turn around and come back to take care of paperwork on the house. 

Should we get renters?

I see the house as empty when you're in Colorado. I don't see any renters.

(At the end of the reading she said she had the strongest feeling about this question. Like there was a sense that, "Ah, now I have to go back for that.")

What's my life's purpose?

Do you have something you want me to zero in on?

I'm not sure. Um, maybe filmmaking or energy work with babies, like Dr. Emerson does.

I'm getting the most relaxed energy from energy work, like you're in harmony with that. Babies, that's a given. You're a mom, mom, mom. Your purpose is not just going to appear one day all at once, it goes in stages, step-by-step. And all of your interests kind of bleed into each other. Filmmaking is not the first step. It seems like you keep everything pretty close to home. If you did filmmaking, it would be within your community. Close to home is core to you. It's no so much you want to leave a legacy, but you feel importance to want to change things. You want that it makes a change. Grassroots, within your community. I don't get that you've got it yet.

(And this is the quote I like best of all...)

Your purpose is just you being who you are and doing whatever moves you at the time.

Why did I think Peace would have brown hair and brown eyes?

You were a step ahead. You're not done yet. Haven't had the next child. I see a boy with brown hair and brown eyes.

But I felt like it was a girl.

(Something about how all people are girls until the choose to be a boy at the last minute... I can't remember how she worded this.)

So... those were the questions that she got to. I also had a question about my blog (Will my blog be successful?) that we didn't get to because we ran out of time. Wouldn't you all just love to know the answer to that one?

Oh, one more thing: a couple of weeks ago, I had posted a question on the Mothering.com Ask-An-Intuitive forum about where we would live, and this is how the intuitive responded:

"I am hearing Seattle, Washington, and I think you will love it there and he will do very well there with his practice."

Does anybody have any thoughts on any of this? Please discuss.

Your Questions Answered, Part 6

What kind of birth control do you use (when not breastfeeding)?

We use Natural Family Planning... always have, probably always will. Vern and I have been having sex for almost 11 years now, and haven't ever gotten pregnant when we didn't want to be.

So, obviously, if you know me... I'm a naturalist in all areas of life, so the birth control pill is quite an idiotic thing to take, in my opinion.

On May 10, somebody posted on facebook how it was the 50th anniversary of the birth control pill. And they were all, like, happy for the revolution women were taking over their reproductive lives. And, meanwhile, I'm thinking... but the birth control pill has done nothing but taken women further away from knowing their reproductive cycles. Birth control pills are artificial hormones. They're a medication. They are NOT GOOD FOR YOUR BODY. And women aren't even batting an eye at it anymore because it has somehow become normalized in our society to take something that prevents our bodies from operating the way they should. What the frick? And now, there is even that new birth control pill out there where a woman will only get her period once a year. ONCE A YEAR, PEOPLE! I mean, isn't that taking women further away from their women-ness rather than empowering them toward it? I think we need a new revolution.

What would empower women is to get to KNOW their fertility. A must read for every women would be the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It tells you everything you need to know.

Another, more natural, way to approach fertility would be to use the Fertility Awareness Method to detect when you're fertile, and, if you are, use a condom during the fertile times, and nothing when you're not (but don't use coconut oil with a condom... that's a no-no). I have never used a condom in my life, nor do I want to. It just doesn't seem appealing to me. So, what we do, is we just abstain from sex during the days of the month when I am fertile.

Things like IUDs give me the heebie-jeebies. I don't like having weird things stuck up inside my private parts.

So, yeah, Natural Family Planning is what we do and it has worked well for us.

Your Questions Answered, Part 5

From reading your posts, it seems like you are Catholic. Yet you make some comments that seem more just "spiritual", not necessarily "religious"-y. Please comment on your own personal mix of the two and how you got to this point. Your spiritual journey. =)

This was a very insightful question, and you did a good job of sizing me up.

Here's my story:

I was born and raised Catholic (although my dad is an atheist). I have always liked being Catholic. I don't think that being Catholic and being "spiritual" are mutually exclusive. They're not. But I can see how a lot of the teachings of the church seem regimented and dogmatic and less "spiritual". I am in the midst of exploring the spiritual side of Catholicism, and especially the work of the Holy Spirit through all of us. I am trying to model my life after Jesus, and I want to have faith like He did. (Matthew 17:20 - "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.") That's my journey.

I like exploring universal laws and the science behind religion, and seeing how it all fits together (because it does). It is like I am completing this big puzzle of spirituality in my head, and everything is really falling together quite nicely... Catholicism, universal laws, science... it's all connected.

I was reading some stuff about how Christopher Langan (who is considered by many "the smartest man in America") is working on a way to prove the existence of God through science and mathematics. He called it his "Cognitive-Theoretic Model of the Universe". I get excited about stuff like this because I know a lot of people who don't believe in God, but do believe in science (unlike those uninformed New Earth Creationists out there), and I want them to see how it's all related. The way I figure it is, if this very, very, very, very smart man who is much more intelligent than you or I believes in God and can prove it (almost), why doesn't everybody?

So, anyway, within the last couple of years or so, I kind of started thinking for myself more, regarding the teachings of the Catholic Church. I read somewhere that the Catholic Church had sentenced Copernicus to hell because he said that the Earth revolved around the sun (at the time, they couldn't imagine a universe where the Earth wasn't the center). So, this got me to thinking that maybe the Catholic Church, like anything, isn't always correct (the Holy Inquisition and the reassigning of immoral priests are a couple of other examples). What it comes down to is that the Church is just a bunch of people making decisions (and sometimes people can be wrong). I am recognizing that part of it now.

That being said, what I like about the Catholic Church is that it is the rock on which Jesus built his church. The lineage of popes can be traced all the way back to Saint Peter, and I like that. (Matthew 16:18 - You are Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.) 

So, now, I guess I'm taking what I like about the church, and leaving what I don't. I'm finally at a point in my life where I can say that and not feel guilty about it.

Also... Mother Teresa. I love her. She is another reason why I am Catholic.

So, in closing, here is a quote by Mother Teresa that I really like that kind of sums everything up:

"We do not try to impose our faith on others. We try to act in such a way that Christ will make his light and his life shine forth in us and, through us, in the world."

Your Questions Answered, Part 4

 I'm thinking that I should start listening to Springsteen and wearing skirts more often. 

Here are the questions for today. You all really thought of some good ones. I still have three more to go after this batch here:

What is your favorite sex position/tip/secret? 

I enjoy being on the top. I've had an orgasm every time I've ever had sex because of this. I'm not sure if that is abnormal or just abnormally weird that I'm telling you all this.


What was high school like for you?

I guess I was a cross between MTV's Daria, Janeane Garofalo, and what I imagine Tina Fey would have been like in high school... except less cool on all accounts (which is basically how I remain today). I've always felt like I've had the same mind/thoughts that I've had since I was 13. I don't think that I've changed much, intrinsically. I never rebelled. Never went through "phases". Never "experimented". I was always pretty sure of who I was.

I enjoyed high school, for the most part. I had some good friends. I played volleyball, worked on the annual staff, hung out with my grandma a lot. I met Vernon the summer before my senior year. I didn't date anybody before him (because nobody asked, really).

Do you and Vernon disagree on how to raise the kids?

Not really.

Thursday Photos

I still have some more questions to answer, but I will get to them later. Today I am only going to post pictures. Here are some that I took at 7:00 am this morning:

(Remember... if anybody wants to book me for a photo session, I still need to pay off this new camera.)

Your Questions Answered, Part 3

I should have showered before Vern went out of town. I don't feel comfortable showering while Peace is asleep, so I guess I'll try to do it sometime when she's awake and just have her in the bathroom with me and hopes that she doesn't keep picking at that thing on the toilet that is really dirty and that she takes off and puts in her mouth.

I got my new camera today. The Canon 50D. I haven't had a chance to fool around with it much today, but I did manage to get off a couple of shots. So, here it is, my first picture:

(Doesn't Peace have HUGE eyes?) Okay, now onto your questions...

Tell me Allison, Why, when we first met, did I ever think you were quiet and shy?? I love that I did, actually, and then you turned out to be an amazingly funny, and not at all shy, friend...but why? why? why?

This is actually a fairly common theme in my life. I am shy when I first meet people. It takes me approximately 6.72 times of being around someone until I feel comfortable around them. It often surprises people that I meet, especially if they are used to my online persona, because I am much more social when I write. I was lamenting to my friend Aileen about how I'm socially awkward when I first meet people and how I was going to struggle with that all over again when I move. And she says, "No you won't. You'll be fine. You're not like that anymore." So, that got me to thinking... maybe I'm NOT like that anymore. Maybe, after all these years, maybe I'm starting to become more social and less awkward. Maybe now it only takes me 3.47 times to meet someone before feeling comfortable.

Why the hug aversion when you're so obviously not averse to hugging Vernon and kiddos? :)

I'm just comfortable around them, because they've heard me fart and stuff like that. I think I wouldn't be averse to hugging anyone who has heard me fart... well, except for maybe my sister's husband, Jon Sele (I'm writing his full name here because I want people who google his name to come up with this post).

Is your sister a twin?

No, she is 11 months, 6 days older than me. (Which means that my mother got pregnant with me when my sister was 2 months and 2 weeks old. Crazy, huh?)

How on earth do we adamant breastfeeding mamas think it is ok to drink cow's milk when it means that the cow's calf will be torn away from them at less than a month old and bottle fed? This does not seem at all rational, fair, or humane.

I can't answer for the masses would consume factory-farm crap-milk, but I think that most family farms that specialize in raw milk DO NOT separate their baby cows. So, basically, this would be akin to me pumping so I can leave a glass of breastmilk in the fridge for Vern to drink every now and then. (I'm just kidding. But I would totally do this if I owned a pump.)

Okay. That's it for now. More questions tomorrow.

Your Questions Answered, Part 2

 Hello, again. Here are more questions. The first two are kind of similar, so I will answer them together.

Where do you buy your organic/raw products? How do you do so on a budget?

I really really really really really really really want you to show us your budget. You have talked about it in the past, but I just can't figure out how you eat so well (assuming organic, supplements, etc.) on such little money! Please share!

Okay. First of all, I need to explain that for the past ten months or so, the lovely United States government has decided to grant us the generous gift of food support. Therefore, we have not been paying for any of our groceries as of late.

However, I took the liberty of going through our past records to find out exactly what we were averaging for groceries each month. I wanted to see if I was really spending as little on groceries as I thought I was, or if I had somehow deluded myself with the amount.

I selected the months of May-October 2008. I went through every account transaction in our old check register and wrote down the ones going to a grocery store, family farm, or food co-op. And then, I looked through the online records of our Discover card, and wrote down what was put on there. I am pretty sure this would account for any grocery purchases we would have made, except for cash, which I am assuming was minimal. (This was lots of work, people. I hope you will all thank me profusely for the trouble I went through in answering this question... Note: You can thank me by helping me pay for my new camera.)

So, I averaged out the six months of May-October 2008 and this is what I came up with: $307 per month.

Yes, that's right. $307.

I'm not entirely sure how we did this. I will attempt to figure that out here:

1) We did get some venison from family hunting excursions, so that would have saved us some money on meat.

2) I bought the majority of our basic food staples in bulk from Azure Standard. I bought stuff like brown rice, beans, tomato sauce, hard red winter wheat, oatmeal, etc.

3) With chicken, I would boil one chicken overnight. Then, in the morning, I would separate the meat from said chicken into 5 different sections that I would freeze and use in meals (stir fries, soups, curries, etc) as needed. I would also freeze the chicken stock. This was a way to make one chicken go a long way.

4) I would buy raw cheese from Lifeline Farms. They seemed to have the best prices. Good prices on butter too.

5) We would basically stick to the cheap foods. Like, instead of buying all kinds of fruit, it was pretty much always bananas because they were the cheapest. Same for vegetables. It ended up being a lot of the same thing... whatever was the cheapest.

6) Coconut oil we would buy by the gallon from Wilderness Family Naturals. Saves a lot of money to buy it by the gallon.

7) A good price on meat was through Prairie Wind Farms. We just got ground beef, because that was the cheapest ($4 per pound). Good price on raw cream too (only $3 per pint). richardowen@usfamily.net

8) We got our raw milk from Honeymoon Creamery: paulplusemily@yahoo.com

9) We don't really buy anything from a box or a bag... as in, nothing processed. We make our pretty much all of our food from scratch, I guess. Vernon was even making our own bread at this time, I think.

In conclusion, I guess I don't really know how we did it. Now that we have food support, we end up getting pretty much everything (except for raw milk, that we still get from the farm) from Valley Natural Foods.

Okay. That was a long one. That's enough for tonight. I'll answer more questions tomorrow.

Your Questions Answered, Part 1

You asked, I answered. Here we go:

If there was one thing you could go back and do differently when parenting your children (assuming there is something), what would it be? 

Oh, there are a handful of things. If we don't count the times when I have lost my temper and yelled at my children for no reason (something I don't like to admit to, but have done nonetheless), the two other things that have stood out in my mind are:

1) I wish I would have eaten better prenatally when I was pregnant with my first two children. We didn't start eating organic whole foods until three or four years ago. Before that, we ate stuff like the generic version of Hamburger Helper, frozen pizza, 33 cent "whole wheat" bread from ALDI, the generic version of Spaghettio's, etc.

2) When Ocean was around four years old, I started doing "homeschooling" with her. I wrote up a schedule. I used a book called Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I tried to get her to "learn" things. I wish I would have just trusted in the process of child-led learning from the beginning and avoided all that. It seems so far from where I am now, with my unschooling approach to learning. I wouldn't do that again.

I read Peace's birth story and wondered what Ocean and Ezra's were like?

I had midwife-attended home waterbirths with both Ocean and Ezra. Ocean's birth (my first) was probably the easiest of the three. I got kind of cocky after her birth and didn't do much to prepare for Ezra's birth... which really knocked the wind out of my sails (is that even an expression?). His was probably the hardest out of all of them. I have both of their birth stories saved, so maybe I'll post them here someday?

What do you most look forward to once the kids are in bed at night? (Is that a leading question?)

Oh, you know... reading my books, watching my shows.

Boxers or briefs?

It's funny that you should ask this because I am actually wearing my husband's boxers at this very minute. I'm wearing them because my pajama pants have poop on them (not mine). Boxers are also a good thing to wear after having a baby... it lets "the area" get airflow without having to be totally naked. (Was this the answer you were looking for?)

Okay, folks. That's it for now. I'll answer more tomorrow.

More on the Video

So, just to update you all, that breastfeeding video that I posted on Youtube a week and a half ago is now up to over 8,000 hits.

And if you go here, and look at Logistical Reason #12, you will find a link to the video.

And if you go here, you will see a little write-up that somebody did on the whole thing.

Just thought that was interesting.

At the Beach

I borrowed my friend's camera so I could take pictures at Rebecca's blessingway last night.

I thought we were lacking on pictures here lately, so this is what we did today:

Get Your Questions In

Get your question in by tomorrow because I'll start answering them on Monday.

P.S. To whoever wrote the question and signed it as "Vernon"... he did NOT find that very amusing. (I, however, did find it quite amusing... so I will be more than happy to give you an answer to your question come Monday.)

How to Make Kefir

Making kefir is just about the easiest thing anyone on the face of the planet can do. The hardest part is going to be obtaining the kefir starting grains in the first place (they are not really a grain at all even... they're just some kind of cultured cauliflower-brain-looking bacteria). Actually, it's really easy to get kefir grains if you know somebody who has them. Then, you just mooch some off of them and, since the kefir grains multiply faster than a couple of horny rabbits, you can then pass them on to some more people, and so on and so forth. It's an endless cycle of rich, probiotic, goodness.

If, however, you are new to the scene and nobody in your circle of friends has even uttered the word "kefir" (without reference to Mr. Sutherland), then you'll need to order some. So, go here to order some (which will obviously be more expensive than getting them for free, but, what are you going to do?).

Okay. Before I go on with instructions on how to make your very own kefir, I want to explain a little bit why you need it. Kefir is an extraordinary probiotic. It's going to do wonders with your digestive system, as well as strengthen your immune system, regulate your cholesterol, and a bunch of other good stuff. And making it yourself is so much better than buying that pre-packaged stuff at the co-op (which is pasteurized and has a bunch of other not-so-great ingredients added to it).

Instructions:

1. Put the kefir grains in a quart-size mason jar.
2. Fill the jar with raw milk (please only use raw milk... pasteurized milk is CRAP and not meant for human consumption), leaving some room at the top for fermentation.
   
3. Let jar sit for awhile. The time on this will vary. It will take less time to ferment in the summer (maybe 24 hours or less) and longer in the winter (maybe around 36-48 hours). Let the milk sit out? For a day? Or more? Yes, it does seem weird, but, trust me... IT'S OKAY! >
4. Check your kefir to see if it's ready. It will smell sour, taste a little sour, and may have even thickened up a little bit. The longer you leave it out, the more sour it will become. Sometimes it will start to get kind of chunky, and that's okay too. Don't worry, there is really no way to screw this up. Kefir is very forgiving.
   
5. Fish the kefir grains out with a spoon and put them in a second mason jar. Add new milk to the new jar, and put the first jar into the fridge, shake up, and drink it whenever. Kefir is great in smoothies.

Oh, and remember, your kefir grains will multiply. So, feel free to pass the kefir-love onto your family and friends (if they don't think you've gone off the deep-end by now). Good luck!

Is This Weird?

Is it weird that I talk to my kids about wanting to be cremated after I die?

And then, I go on to say that I want them to put my ashes in a smoothie so they can drink them and that way I can always be a part of them.

And my daughter says, "Okay." And I say, "Really?" And she says, "Yeah, because it won't taste like anything because it will be all mixed up together." And I say, "I was just kidding, you know." And she says, "Oh." Long pause. "Well, I would still drink it."

Bedtime Rhythm

My husband is very close to becoming a chiropractor. He recently passed Part 3 of the board exams and will be taking the fourth and final part next weekend.

Which means he will be studying.

A lot.

Which means he won't be around.

A lot.

And then, the following week, he will be going out of town for six days to attend a chiropractic seminar.

But I am a loving and supportive wife and I am okay with all of this. I'm used to it. It's no big deal.

What I'm not okay with is when he comes home and messes with the children's bedtime routine. We need our bedtime rhythm! (The rhythm of a child's day is very important. You can google this.)

Mayim and Lily Are Beautiful

Thank you to all of you who responded to my shameless plea for compliments last week. I'm feel better now.

It's weird how one judges their own appearance. I've always compared myself to Lily Tomlin and Mayim Bialik in terms of looks, right? Well, I was just thinking about them after I posted the other day, and I actually don't think they are homely at all. I think they are beautiful. Lily is this amazingly funny woman, and Mayim is really cool and into homebirths, elimination communication, homeschooling and stuff like that. Sound like anybody you know? (Ahem, I'm talking about me here.)

But it's weird how I judge myself more harshly than I judge others. I'm my worst critic. It's like hearing one's voice on a recording, where you go, "Do I really sound like that? I don't really sound like THAT, do I?"

So, I look the way I look, and I'm okay with that, no matter what it is. Some days I look good. Some days I don't.

My friends all think I'm beautiful. My husband thinks I'm beautiful. That's more than enough for me.

Birth Photography

It's been over a week, and I haven't written about my birth photography session yet! Ah!

Dear internet, there is something you all must know about being at a birth... it is the most amazing thing in the world. I feel truly honored and inspired every time I attend one. And even though I have to carry around that dang cell phone all week, getting silly text messages from Dave that are meant for my husband, it is always more than worth it.

I love the stillness of birth. The house, the room, is always still... waiting.

I love the smell of birth. It smells like hot water and candlelight.

I love the midwives. I hadn't photographed at a birth for awhile, and when the midwife arrived (for those of you in the know, it was Jeannie), she looked really happy to see me, like we were old friends. And my friend Sarah was there too, and she is the most wonderful midwife in the entire universe. I am always amazed at the amount of work midwives do, and I often wonder how I got along without them during my last birth (an intentionally unassisted birth).

Jeannie hugged me right before I left too. I liked that.

Sometimes I feel like a voyeur, taking pictures. Like I'm not really supposed to be a part of it. I think about my feelings during my last birth... how I wanted to be alone, no one watching... and I transfer some of those feelings onto this births. I don't want to get in the way. I don't want to interfere. I try not to, because that is the way I would want it. (Although, anyone who hires me to take pictures at their births obviously doesn't mind my being there. I have to remember that.)

About 5-10 minutes after the birth, my camera stopped working. I thanked God it didn't go out any sooner. After six years of owning my camera (a Digital Canon Rebel), this was the first time I ever had trouble with it. The shutter was stuck. Wouldn't open. (I still need to figure out what to do about my camera situation... this is the reason you haven't seen any pictures on this blog lately. So, if anybody wants to give me $1,000 to buy my almost-dream camera, that would be wonderful.)

But the pictures turned out great. And the video turned out great (did I mention that I also videotaped it?). I love working on birth videos... piecing together the moments, putting them to music. It's lovely.

Births are lovely. I would like to go to one again. If you are pregnant, live in the Minneapolis area, and would like to hire me to take pictures AND video at your birth, let me know. I would like to be a part of it (assuming I have a new camera by then).

Ask Me a Question

In honor of Mother's Day, I'd like to give all of you a chance to ask the Goofy Mama a question, any question. What do you want to know about me? Do you need advice on anything in your life? Would you like my opinion on anything? Go ahead, ask away. I will answer anything (so beware, all you readers faint of heart).

Post your question in the comment section or e-mail it to me at goofymama@hotmail.com. I will answer all questions in a post next week (so that will give you something to look forward to).

I Love You Phillip Morris

3.51 out of 5 stars

I have seen this movie, even though it hasn't officially come out yet. It keeps getting delayed and now they're unsure if it is even going to be released at all.

Anyway, I saw it because I like to watch Jim Carrey when he takes on unconventional roles for himself (like he's done with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Man on the Moon, and even The Truman Show). He's a good actor, and I think that he should win an Oscar someday.

I was kind of confused by the title of this movie because I wasn't sure if it had something to do with Phillip Morris, the tobacco company (it didn't). Turns out, this was based on real-life events, and the guy that Jim Carrey's character loves is actually named Phillip Morris (played by Ewan McGregor). If it wasn't his name in real-life, I'm sure they wouldn't have used it for the movie because, like I said, it's confusing.

But this movie was good, and original, and well-crafted and acted and such. It kind of dragged a bit in spots, but I liked knowing that it was based on a true story, which made the shenanigans all the more exciting.

Spaghetti Pie

I'm calling this Spaghetti Pie even though we make it in a 9x13 cake pan. The one time I made it in a pie plate, it overflowed, so I'm sticking with the 9x13 pan. You can do whatever you want.

6 oz rice spaghetti
2 eggs
8 oz raw milk cheese, grated
1 lb grass-fed, organic beef
1 onion, diced
15 oz spaghetti sauce

Cook spaghetti. Mix eggs into hot spaghetti. Form into a crust in the 9x13 pan. Brown meat and onion. Add sauce. Spread over spaghetti crust. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Top with cheese and bake about 5 minutes more until melted.

P.S. You could also add 1 cup of cottage cheese and spread it over the "crust" before the meat. I didn't. I'm just saying that you could if you were so inclined.

My New Boyfriend

John Taylor Gatto is challenging Marsden Wagner in becoming my new boyfriend.

Somebody Thinks I'm Homely

I have that Nursing Etiquette video up on YouTube.com, right?

Well, I'll cut right to the chase. Here is what somebody commented on it:

Why is it always the homely that want to de-sexualize the female body????

I'm not sure what to think. In one respect, my feelings are hurt and I kind of feel like drowning my sorrows in a 1/2 gallon of ice cream (and, yes, I can eat the entire thing in one sitting). But in another respect, I'm matter-of-fact about it, and it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. 

I'm not sure which way to feel at any given moment.

I mean, you all might not know this, but I DO realize I am not the most beautiful person in the world. I may have fooled you because I actually look sort of good (and by "good", I mean semi-descent) in most of the photos that are taken of me. But, in real life, I don't look nearly as "good".

I kind of see myself as a hybrid between Lily Tomlin and Mayim Bialik. You see what I mean?

So, anyway, I guess this is the problem with putting oneself out there on YouTube. Lesson learned, dear Internet. Lesson learned.


Could somebody please tell me something nice today?


Thank you.

My Viral Video

I posted that Nursing Etiquette video on YouTube (as well as here) on Sunday, and it has kind of gotten a lot of attention. I mean, it's no Evolution of the Dance or anything, but posting a semi-decent video about breastfeeding with a semi-decent message, tends to get a semi-decent amount of attention. Breastfeeding women LOVE their breastfeeding videos, I tell you. In only two days, the video has already gotten 5,403 hits. (That means over 5,000 people have seen me breastfeeding. Weird.)

A big part of what made it get a lot of hits was the fact that KellyMom.com (a BIG breastfeeding site) found it and posted a link to it from their Facebook page. It got 78 responses, and 185 people *liked* it. The only negative response was from someone who thought it implied there was something wrong with women who chose to cover up in public. So, I wanted to address that a little bit. First, I would like to include how someone responded to this on the thread, which pretty much sums up how I feel:

"I think the maker of this video would not say that covering is bad. In fact, I'm sure she would be pleased as punch to know that a mom is nursing her baby no matter how she gets it done. That being said, I think the video speaks to me as a modest mom. Trust me, I would use a cover every day of my life if I could, but by about 6 months that was ... not realistic. I just think the point is that the more people do it the easy way (without a cover) the more normal that becomes, and then more people will feel comfortable doing it with or without a cover. I really doubt she had any negative will towards any nursing moms."

So, I guess if we're going to analyze it a bit further, the video was just a tongue-in-cheek way of saying: "Isn't it cute how most babies don't like to be covered up, so why should we feel like we have to?" And, if anything, it was a look at the culture that produces this attitude, and maybe a way to change it (the attitude). 

That's it. I think.

Oh, one more thing. The other day I was nursing at the mall, and a lady came up to me and said, "Thank you for breastfeeding." I thought that was nice. I think more people should be thanking women for breastfeeding. After all, there was a recent study that come out that said if 90% of American mothers nursed their babies exclusively for the first six months, it would save the nation $13 billion each year in medical cost, and it would also save more than 900 babies from dying each year.

So, THANK YOU, to all you women who breastfeed (and also a special thank you to those of you who watched and commented on my video).

Ponytail Holders!

After many years, I have finally invested in some new ponytail holders (and I am only being partially sarcastic when I say this was an investment). But they are at such a tension that it is too loose when I wrap it around three times, but not loose enough so that I can wrap it around four. What the frick? After all my years agonizing about this, and now they don't even do what they are supposed to do.

This is worse than shopping for shoes, people! WORSE THAN SHOPPING FOR SHOES!

Date Night

3.17 out of 5 stars

For our date night last Friday night, Vernon and I watched the movie Date Night (again, don't ask me how I do this, for I am not going to tell you). Normally, we have a rule on date night: We are not allowed to watch media of any kind, so we must force ourselves to talk to and enjoy one another (or play a board game or something). But we made an exception last Friday, and I'm not even sure why.

So, the movie Date Night is basically our lives because Vernon is Steve Carrell and I am Tina Fey (really, we are). And our lives look eerily similar (and pathetic) to that of the middle-aged couple the actors are playing. But at least they get out of the house to go on their dates!

I've been begging my mom to move closer to us for eons now so that we could have some semblance of a romantic life (with a regular babysitter), but she will have none of it and is determined to live in Fargo, ND, getting her gallbladder removed and eating out of a crock pot. Whatever.

So, anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. The movie was funny because it was true to life (except for the parts involving the actual plot of the movie). Which makes it kind of sad. Which makes us and our weekly games of Battleship kind of sad.

We really ought to work on this.

Nursing Etiquette

Public Transportation

The Living Green Expo is taking place this weekend, so all public transportation is free. 

We spent the morning taking advantage of this.

First, we took the bus to the Mall of America.

And then we took the light rail to the airport.

We entertained ourselves at the airport for a bit.

Then we headed back to the Mall of America.

While we were at the Mall of America, (I swear, why do I talk about the Mall of America so much in this blog? Really. We don't even go there that often and I really do more appealing and less homogeneous stuff most of the time) we tried on hats.

And Ocean pretended to be blind.

There was also this moment:

And this one:

And then we went home.

It was a good day.