Educational Ideologies

About a month ago, Ezra was doing research on Walt Disney for a class report. He got one of those Who Was books about him:


You know how when you think something is really cool, you go and put a bunch of library books on hold about it? (C'mon, I know we've all done this. In our excitement we put a bunch of books on hold, and then we lose interest and don't end up reading them all, right?)

Well, Ezra was really interested in these Who Was (and also Who Is) books, so he put a bunch of them on hold from the library. And by "a bunch", I mean 74.

They all come in, and I ask Ezra what the heck he was thinking. (Of course I knew, as I have done this myself. Not to this egregious extent, but still...) And then I asked him if he was going to read them all. He said, uhhh. And then I said, I'll give you $10 if you read them all. (It was more of a dare, and wanting to see him follow through on all these books that he checked out, then actually wanting him to be externally motivated by money to read.) And he said, okay.

So, now, about one month later, he has read all 74 of these books.

Each book took around 40 minutes to read (so, to tally it up for you, that's around 49 total hours of reading). The books ranged from:

Who Was Alexander Graham Bell?
Who Was Jesse Owens?
Who Was Queen Elizabeth?
Who Was Leonardo da Vinci?
to
Who Was Seabiscuit?
Who Was Michael Jackson?

This also happened to coincide with the kids Reach for the Stars reading incentive program at their school, which I usually poo-poo and mock for being a way to externally motivate kids to read. But, judging by his numbers, he will probably end up being the Star Reader in his class. Peace is doing it as well and she went from not reading very much to reading (stupid fairy) chapter books during this reading incentive program.

Darn these results for messing with my educational ideologies!

How I Feel About Making Midwife - 3 Years Later

So, where last I left off on this blog, before I started just posting a bunch of recipes and then nothing but Valentine's Day pictures and Christmas cards, I was talking about how making my documentary (Midwife, see below) affected me.

I wrote stuff like:

After the premiere, I was expecting to be able to breathe again. When I was driving from the premiere to the after-party, I thought I would exhale and  feel normal again.
But I didn't. I still felt stressed, even after it was all said and done.

and

And I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from all this. I don't know if it is good, to give myself challenges in life, and to grow and learn from them (part of me says yes). Or if putting myself through that is just not worth it (part of me says yes to this as well).

It seemed to do a real number on my brain chemicals for awhile, you know? It took me quite awhile to get back to feeling like myself again (whatever that means).

So, I wanted to update you a bit on how I'm feeling about it now, almost 3-1/2 years later:

I think it was good. I can look at it now and say that I am happy that I challenged myself. I am happy I made this movie, and I am happy that I put it out there for the world to see. (This is a rough estimate, since there is know way for me to know for sure, but I think around 15,000-20,000 people have probably seen the film.)

It was hard to put myself in a place of vulnerability, in making the movie and putting it out there to be seen and judged by other people. But, ultimately, I am glad that I did. I think that it was worth it.

It only took me 3-1/2 years to realize that though.

Here's a link to the film if you want to see it:

Book Report - March

I read a lot of books. I thought I would put some of my book recommendations here, because it seems like people are always looking for good books to read. So, I've vetted out the below par books for you (you're welcome), and I'm only posting the books that I consider VERY good (this means I rate them at least 4 out of 5 stars).

If you like reading this blog, you'll probably have similar tastes in books as me, so these will probably be very good recommendations for you. Enjoy!

(Note: Since this is my first Book Report, I'm playing a little bit of catch-up with books I've read over the past couple of months. I'll catch up with myself soon enough.)




The Hopefuls - by Jennifer Close is a great marriage / relationship book about an up-and-coming politician and his lovely / smart / independent wife who goes along for the ride.






But What If We're Wrong? - by Chuck Klosterman is a book that will make you re-examine the world as you know it. (I love books that make me re-examine the world as I know it!) Just look at it's cover... it's upside down! Clever.






This Must Be the Place - by Maggie O'Farrell is storytelling at its finest. She weaves a good tale about a man finding his place in the world, losing it, finding it again.





The Nix - by Nathan Hill is one of the BEST books I've read all year. It's long. It's good. It's pretty epic. One of the best things about this book was that it was ultimately a story about a man and his mother. How often do you see a story focused on that relationship? It was so well done.





Hillbilly Elegy - by J.D. Vance was a well-drawn out look into the hillbilly culture. Eye-opening and thoughtful. A fast and easy read.

The Benefits of Being an Older Mom

I am 40 years old and I have 4 kids. My youngest is 20 months old. Here is why it is easier being an older mom to my toddler:

1) I don't give a fudge anymore.

When I first became a mom 14 years ago, everything was a big deal. All of the infinitesimal stages she passed through seemed endless and all-important. Gradually, through the years and through the kids, things started to matter less and less. A stage of unpleasantness (teething, separation anxiety, never going on the potty) doesn't seem unending. I can recognize that it's fleeting. I can see that now. I have the perspective of time on my side.

I've never given much of a fudge about the little things, like making sure her clothes were always clean or if she was drawing on herself with marker, but I give even less of a fudge about that kind of stuff now. Again, perspective.

2) I grew my own babysitter.

As I mentioned before, the secret to easier mothering involves having children 12 years apart. That's all there is to it. You grow your own babysitter, and that makes things soooo much easier.

3) Time moves faster.

Here is my theory on time: The older you get, the faster it moves. Here is why I think that is. Take a look at these graphs here. This first one is what one year of my life looks like:

It is only 1/40th of my life.

Now, take a look at what a year in the life of a 10 year old looks like:

It is a whopping 1/10th of his life.

See how much more space a year takes up on his graph than on mine? That's how much longer it feels too, as it's happening. That's my theory.

Now that I'm 40, time is whizzing along faster than I've ever imagined. Therefore, the life of the young toddler is whizzing along faster than I've ever imagined. Therefore, it doesn't seem all-encompassing and dragging like it did when I was 26.

3) Our life is settled.

We have settled into a routine. A life. A family. What used to seem self-important and dogmatic (We brew our own Kombucha! We make our own toothpaste!) has become just a part of The Way We Do Things, without all the pomp and ego behind it. Traditions. Seasons. The flow of life. We've got it all down. Our home is a lovable, well-oiled machine. The toddler fits right into it.

4) I know how to ask for help.

I'm not afraid to ask for help anymore. I know when I'll probably need it (as I can now see the signs approaching well in advance) and I know how to ask for it when I do. I know how to balance my needs with those of others in the family, and I'm not afraid of asking for help in obtaining that balance, when I need it. I didn't know how to do this before, and I didn't know how much I needed to either.

5) I don't need to learn how to be a parent.

I've been doing this motherhood thing for 14 years, and it's all old hat by now. Not just for me, but for my husband too. He's good at it. Like with any vocation, we're both much better at this now than when we started.


The one thing that I do struggle with is the fact that there are not a lot of other 40 year old moms of toddlers around. The moms who do have toddler-aged kids are younger. Awhile ago, I had planned on integrating myself with a set of younger moms from my church, so that my toddler would have friends to play with, but that didn't last long. I already have friends (albeit, ones that I don't see much of anymore), and it turns out that I didn't really feel like making new ones. Too much effort.

Plus, I am not in the same stage of life as those young moms. The women who I am at the same stage of life have bigger kids and have moved on from toddler related activities and playgroups.

I have struggled with this a lot. I am between two worlds and not sure how to fit in with either.

Here is a quote from a book that I am reading, called Bonjour Kale, about a young woman who moved from New York to Paris:

Maybe it was time for something different, a new challenge. I couldn't hold on to the present. Yes, things in my life were fantastic, but those things could also change. People and situations evolve. I didn't know it at the time, but everyone else would move on as well; I just happened to be the first one to do it. I had to accept that the summer of rooftop gimlets and all that it meant to me couldn't last forever.

I'm not the one moving on, but I have to accept that things have changed and that my "summer of rooftop gimlets" is also over.

For most people, it probably takes 3 months to settle into a new way of life. For me, (and I'm not kidding about this), it takes me almost 10 times as long. But I am almost there. And I will adjust. But it is hard.

There's this book called The Ten-Year Napwhich nicely shows the life of four at-home mothers, staying home for ten years, and then getting back into "regular" life again. At the end of the book, one of the moms looks into a cafe where she used to go with her friends, and saw their table being occupied by new group of younger moms. (That makes me a little sad every time I think about it.)

So, there you go: you take the good, you take the bad, and there you have... motherhood at 40.

Pen-ish-ands

There's this improv game called Blind Line. It's where people right down silly lines, and the people doing the improv have to work those lines into the skit. Lines like:

Where's the beef?
It smells in here.
I feel like chicken tonight.

Or, if you're me, you write something like:

My name is Edward Penishands.

So, Vern and I were playing this game with my grandma several, several years ago (back when she was alive, of course, because you can't play this game with a dead person, believe me, we've tried) and she had the line that read: My name is Edward Penishands.

But, instead of pronouncing it: Edward Penis-Hands, as she should have done, she said:

Edward Pen-ish-ands.

Oh, I laugh about this whenever I think of it. We have this on video and were re-watching it the other day. It's so funny.

She also got a clue (which I wrote, thank you very much) that said:

I have my x-ray goggles on and I can see your penis.

But instead of saying that, she said:

I have my x-ray goggles and and I can see your... ALLISON!

Tissue?

This was a conversation between Ezra and me the other day:

Me: Do you want a tissue?

Ezra: No. I have one.

Me: That's your hand.

Ezra: I know. It works.

Me: Fair enough.

This picture has nothing to do with the story, other than that it features the two of us.

The Secret to Easier Mothering

Let me tell you the secret to having an easy time mothering, dear readers. Here is what you need to do:

1) Have a baby.
2) Have another baby 12 years later.

That's all there is to it. You can have a couple of babies in between, of course (as I have done), but those two steps are the key elements. The reason for this is because the baby in Step 1 can help take care of the the baby in Step 2.

I bet you all didn't realize how easy that was. Just two steps.

Seriously, unless you have experienced this for yourself, you have no idea.

Of course, you don't want to take advantage of Step 1 Baby. And you don't, because it turns out that Step 1 Baby enjoys and wants to be of help to Step 2 Baby. It doesn't take much time either. Just 5-10 minutes of help can make a difference between sanity and insanity in the life of a mother.

Mothering could get pretty hard some times. If you've been a reader of this blog in the past, you saw times when I wasn't enjoying it very much. But, I'm telling you now, I have found the secret. This two step system is the way to go. One. Two. There. You're done. You're welcome.

Not only does this system help with times at home, but it also helps you get out of the house more. You can go on dates again! You grew your own babysitter!

This is also working with the second born child as well. On nights when the oldest is not available, we can now leave Step 2 Baby with one of the other kids we had! It's amazing. And he likes doing it too. It makes him feel responsible and it brings out the nurturing side of him, which is sweet. (He also likes the fact that I let him watch a movie when we go out, so he is more than happy to see us go.)

So, enjoy this Amazing Two Part System that I have laid out for you, my dear readers. It makes life easy. It makes mothering easy. It is the secret, the Holy Grail, to motherhood. I have found it and I cannot keep it to myself anymore.

Implement as you see fit. Individual results may vary.

Belly Button Lint

Here's an informal poll: Does your husband's belly button have lint it it? Go check. Let me know.

Vern's belly button has lint in it 95% of the time. I don't know how it does this. Why is it so good at collecting lint? I don't get it.

I love picking lint out of his belly button.

It's like opening up a present on Christmas Day when I lift up his shirt to see if there is lint collected in his belly button. I am usually never disappointed because the lint is almost always there. (Of course, this is assuming I hadn't just checked it and picked it an hour ago.)

Back when I was doing art shows with my photography, I used to sell this photograph:

One person bought a copy of it once.

A Birthday + A Haircut

My lovely daughter, Ocean, turned 14 over the weekend. She is the sweetest and kindest teenager I know. She also carries herself with a confidence and joy that I didn't have at 14 (nor do I have now). And, yes, she's tall. I measured her yesterday and she is 5'11" tall.

Here's a video of how she spent her birthday. In the video, you'll also notice our littlest one getting his haircut. I've never cut hair on a kid this young before, and it was crazy hard to do! I just did it with no rhyme or reason because that was the only way to get it done. I even let the other kids cut some, because I figured it didn't matter. I'm surprised it turned out as "good" as it did. It had to be done though. It was starting to look so dumb.




I usually call Solomon "Baby Bear" as a nickname, but now I've taken to calling him "Haircut". Here's a picture of Haircut:

Father's Day + Sperm

Yesterday, at the dinner table (do you guys say that too? Dinner table?), Vern was telling the kids that instead of buying him a present for Father's Day, he would like them to each pick out a food and make that food for him.

ME: So you will be creating something for Dad, just like how Dad created each one of you. Out of his sperm.

(Eyerolls)

ME: Except, this will taste better because you wouldn't want to eat sperm.

(More eyerolls)

ME: Although, some people DO like to eat sperm.

VERN: Ooo-kay.  I think that's enough. I'd like to go just one meal where Mom doesn't talk about sperm. That's what I'd like for Father's Day.

END SCENE

I took this picture myself. Macro lens.

Trivial Pursuits

Remember when blogs used to be stream of consciousness stuff, where people would write stupid stuff about their day or fake to-do lists they put up on their mom's fridge? (You know, dumb stuff like that?) Now, it seems like blogs are highly informative and important. Nobody is really writing trivial stuff anymore. I guess Facebook is probably filling that need for most people, and that blogs attract more readers using catchier titles like 5 Ways To Use Kale! as opposed to Trivial Pursuits.

My point here is that there is value in the trivial.

There is value in the sublime.

There is value in the stupid, under-represented stuff in life.

That is where this blog is headed. And that is where this blog has always been.

Enjoy.

People... I Will Be Writing On This Blog Again!

I have a plan, dear readers (if you're still with me)...

I'm going to start writing on this blog again and here's why:

See how I have ads up on this blog? Well, they occasionally make me money. Not really anymore, since I haven't been posting, but back in my heyday, I would cash in $100 every 2-3 years (nothing to brag about). But, the thing is, I CAN'T cash in anything until I reach the $100 mark. So, there is $35 just sitting, that I'm not able to get to! That's my money and I want it.

So, without further ado, I am going to try to bring it up to $100 so I can cash in my earnings. Wish me luck! And, who knows? Maybe I'll like writing so much again, I'll keep up with it. I was reading through some of my old posts, and it's kind of interesting to have this to look back on.

Technically, I'm not supposed to talk about the advertisements on my blog and you're supposed to click on them authentically, so pretend I didn't say anything (although, I did need to say it as explanation for what I'm doing back on here).

I'll write more later, but a quick update on what has been going now is much like before:

1) I talked about getting bangs.
2) I talked some more about getting bangs.
3) I got bangs.
4) I regretted getting bangs.

Life is very cyclical this way. The cycle of the bangs. I'm sure it will continue to repeat itself.

Here's what I look like now:

Also, I turned 40!

This blog has been around since 2009. I sometimes wonder, had kept up with it, if I could have turned it into something wildly popular and amazing by now. I posted very regularly for the first 3 years, less regularly for the year after that, then basically only pizza and ice cream recipes in the year after that, (and pretty much dropped off completely after I made that movie), and now only Valentine's Day and Christmas card updates for the past 2 years.

So, let's see what this year will bring. Come along for the ride, if you will.

(And, no pressure to click on the ads or anything.)