The Year That Was

I suppose I should do a year-end post, like all the other bloggers of the world are doing. (I must conform if I'm ever going to make it in this blogging world.)

Here are some of my favorite posts from this past year:

I Have Pale Skin

A Conversation After Church

Lent - Day 9 

How Eating Out Is Like Having Sex

Fancy Allison

I only got through part of April, but I'm going to go now and spend New Year's Eve watching Winter's Bone with my husband. Happy New Year, dear readers.

Goofy Mama Answers, Part 1

Okay. Time to start answering some of the questions. Here they are, in no particular order:

If you were pregnant for the 2nd time and planning a VBAC, where would you go for care? It is illegal to homebirth in the state I live in. 

Have you heard of ICAN? (International Cesarean Awareness Network)

I think one of the first things I would do would be to contact them and get information from them. Get resources for VBAC friendly places to birth in the state that you live in.

Personally, I would do everything I could to find a homebirth midwife (even if they happen to be illegal in the state that you live in, because some midwives still practice even though it is illegal). I would get on the Mothering.com forums and ask around there. If I lived close enough to Tennessee, I might consider driving to Ina May's farm. Or maybe going to a birth center (and driving out of state if I had to).

What state do you live in? (I'm assuming it's either Alabama, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Maryland, North Carolina, South Dakota or Wyoming.) Maybe I could help you with some contacts/information.

How do you feel about trying different things to conceive either a boy or girl (positions, ovulation timing, etc)? Ethical? Or messing with destiny?  

I have no problems with with it and I don't view it as unethical. It's just an educated part of knowing how reproduction works. Totally not a big deal to me.

What would you do if you were part of a mom's group... let's say a homeschool group and you really had an issue with one of the other moms... let's she had VERY different parenting ways along with other red flags, what would you do?  
   A. Stay in the group and make nicey, nicey with her? 
   B. Tell her how much you want her to stop talking? 
   C. Leave the group and all of the other amazing people in it because you can't get past how 
   annoyed you get in her presence? 
   D. None of the above? Then what?

Also, how would you handle it if things in the group were moving towards a homeschool co-op and you didn't feel comfortable leaving your kids with said other mom? How would you go about this within a small group of homeschooling families? I look forward to your answer to this VERY hypothetical question.  :0)

I don't really like confrontation, so I think I would do Option A, and just kind of ignore it as best as I could. But as far as having to leave my kids with her, I wouldn't want to do that. So, that would be a tough situation, especially if all the other members of the co-op were okay with it. Maybe I would leave the group because of that. That's just me though, and I'm kind of a weenie in situations like that.

Dealing With It

I am still not doing very well again. In a way, moving here has been harder than when we moved into that crappy apartment in Colorado. Because, after a couple of weeks in Colorado, we were able to fall into a rhythm with life, and we were able to enjoy it.

But here, I haven't been able to find that rhythm. It has been hard not having our own space.

And it is hard explaining this to Vern because he doesn't understand. When I say, "I'm having a hard time with this," I don't want him to say, "deal with it." I want him to say, "I know," and rub my feet.

This is kind of similar to giving birth, in a way. When I am in labor, I want to be able to say, "This is hard and it sucks." And I would want Vernon to say, "I know" and rub my feet.

*sigh*

Answering Machine and Danica McKellar

We're back "home" (I'm using quote marks because I don't feel like we really have a home yet... we're still living with Vernon's brother) from our Christmas holiday. Before leaving my mother's, I left this as her new incoming message on her answering machine:

Hi. You have reached Anita's Whorehouse... where the service is so nice, you'll want to come twice. No pun intended. Just kidding. It was. Leave a message.

Remember Winnie Cooper (Danica McKellar) from The Wonder Years? Well, this is what her husband, Mike Verta, had to say about Danica giving birth naturally: “Ladies, I’m not saying you’re ‘less than’ if you walk into the delivery room and ask for an entire pharmacy of drugs and an epidural. I’m just saying watching Danica go all cave-woman and do it without a single cc of help was pretty damn cool, that’s all."

Isn't that sweet?

So This Is Christmas...

Large Christmas gatherings with family are more appealing in theory than they are in real life.

First at my mother's... where my teenage niece spent the whole time texting, I felt stressed about my kids being loud and messing up the house, and the prank gift that I do almost every year (where I'll wrap up some of my mom's underwear, give it to my brother-in-law, and sign it from my mom) wasn't really even that funny because I've done it so many times.

Then, at my in-laws... where there is one bathroom for 20 people (although that wasn't even a big deal), lots of noise, and I don't feel good because I can't seem to control myself around all of this holiday food. Ugh.

The kids really enjoy it though.

Winter Hats and a Library Book

I went to a Mom's Night Out holiday party last night where there was a White Elephant Gift Exchange. Well, as you know, we got rid of most of our earthly positions a couple of months ago, so we didn't exactly hold on to anything that was anywhere close to White Elephant material.

So I brought a roll of paper towels.

And this is what I came home with:

Two cute winter hats in exchange for a roll of paper towels... not a bad deal.

Another topic: We have a small library that we go to here. It's so small, they don't have an impersonal book drop to the side where we can inconspicuously drop an enormous amount of books. Instead, the book drop is located right underneath the reception desk. So, one or two times a week, I squat down below the reception desk and unload at least 20-25 books, knowing full well that the one or two people behind the desk are going to have to put them away at some point. I totally over-utilize the library staff, and they can see me, sitting there, doing it.

Anyway, so the other day I requested The Red Book by Carl Jung and it came in. This is what the book looked like (which must even more endear me to the library staff, right?):

Christmas 2010 - The Postcard

Here are our Christmas cards from this year. It's in postcard format. This was nice because Vista Print gave me 100 free postcards (I'm not sure why), so I only had to pay $14 for shipping. Then, I only had to pay 28 cents for a postcard stamp, so... all and all, a really good deal.

This is what the back said (click for a larger version if you want to read it):

Ask Goofy Mama

It's that time of year again... time for Goofy Mama to give back to you. So, in the comment section following this post, feel free to ask me ANY question you want, and I will answer it as honestly as I see fit. You can even post anonymously if you want.

The one thing you don't want to do is pretend to be Vernon again. Somebody did that the last time I requested questions, and Vernon didn't find it very amusing (I, however, did find it quite hilarious). But we're trying to stay on Vernon's good side here, remember?

So, go ahead, ask away. This is my Christmas gift to you.

(I will start answering sometime next week.)

Homemade Toothpaste

Here is the recipe for homemade toothpaste that Vernon made. It's really good and everybody likes it.

2 T coconut oil
3 T baking soda
Peppermint extract, to taste
Stevia, to taste

Mix together with a fork.

Flame-Resistant Pajamas and Glycerin

Two things I have learned within the past two months that I never knew/realized before:

1) Flame-resistant pajamas have chemicals in them so people shouldn't be wearing them. (I know. It's, like, DUH, right?) The idea behind flame-resistant pajamas is kind of silly to begin with. I mean, have they EVER, in the history of the world, actually SAVED anybody from getting burned in a fire? Like, if you're close enough to a fire where you're pajamas might catch on fire, you're probably screwed anyway, right?

2) Natural, fluoride-free toothpaste has glycerin in it, which coats your teeth and prevents your teeth from remineralizing. So, since hearing that, I've started just using baking soda to brush my teeth. Vern and the kids didn't like that, so he looked up a recipe for homemade toothpaste (baking soda, coconut oil, peppermint extract, and stevia) and he and the kids use that. I use that sometime too, but I actually kind of like the plain baking soda just as it is. It makes my teeth feel very refreshed. Another option would be Tooth Soap, but I haven't tried it yet (and I guess it really, actually tastes like soap).

So, what else is out there that I don't know about? What else am I not aware of?

Birthday Fun and My Swimsuit

I talked with Vernon about the future of this blog, and he has just requested that I don't talk about our sex life as much. (So, I guess I won't tell you what we did last night, wink, wink.) And as long as I keep our last names out of the posts (although you can clearly see what our last name is in the posts I posted on our Christmas cards), as long as I don't actually TYPE it, then it won't come up in a google search (like, if somebody is searching my husband's name).

Now, on to today's topics... We celebrated Vernon's birthday yesterday. I'm not very good at giving gifts. They are usually lame. I'm just not very good at it. And since Vernon's birthday is so close to Christmas, there is all this pressure to get all sorts of gifts in a short amount of time, and I fail miserably every time.

But, over the years, for all of the lame gifts I have given (this year it was some winter thing that covers his ears without messing up his hair), I have tried to make up for it with the experience of the day. I'm better at coming up with an experience than with a gift. (For example, one year we went to waterslides, went to Winnipeg another year, I threw him a surprise party for his 30th, etc.)

So, this year, I rented us a hotel room for the night (with the kids, so we could all go swimming and stuff). It was fun.

We started the day at home with birthday cake for breakfast. (I am still not totally at home in the kitchen yet, and haven't really gotten in the swing of cooking, so it was just this organic gluten-free cake mix topped with cream that we whipped up and mixed with stevia for the topping.)

Then we went to an open gym at a gymnastics place. This is picture of us in the foam pit. (I like this picture because I am nursing Peace. How many people do you think have nursed a child in the foam pit at a gymnastics place? I think I may be the only one. That makes me feel special.)

And then we went out to a Chinese buffet for lunch (because Vernon enjoys a good Chinese buffet). Which I bet makes you wonder why I try so hard to have a healthy cake when we go out and eat like this for lunch anyway. I don't know, people. I don't know.

I took this picture of Ezra there, which I like. He looks very brooding.

And here is a picture of me at the hotel swimming pool...

which I wanted to include because, seven years ago, I took this picture with Ocean... and our swimsuits are the same. Isn't that interesting? (read: pathetic)

Happy 33rd Birthday, Vernon!

I posted this video last year for Vernon's birthday. Since I haven't gotten around to making a new one this year, I'll post this again for all my new readers (and because I like to watch it).

A New Baby?

Vernon and I haven't had a discussion about the future of this blog yet, but I feel like posting again anyway.

I keep thinking about having another baby.

No, not any time soon, mind you (I'm thinking at least three or four years from now, if everything goes according to my plans)... but I do feel like I'm starting to get to know the soul of this new being already.

I know this sounds trippy, and it really is kind of hard to explain, but that about covers it, more or less.

I feel like I'm meant to have another baby, someday, and I'm starting to feel that connection already.

P.S. It feels like a boy.

Now What?

One year ago tomorrow, I started this blog with this post.

I had set a goal for myself to consistently update it for one year. (Which I have done.)

So, now what?

Vern has never been a particular fan of me having this blog. He puts up with it because he has no choice, really. Although, believe it or not, I have actually censored myself a little bit here and there, in not writing things that I knew he wouldn't want me to write about. I try to be understanding of his concerns, but I also really, really like to be honest and true. (Did you know that is what the name 'Allison' means? It means truthful.)

Vernon has always said that once he becomes a doctor and has his own practice, he would be REALLY uncomfortable with me having this blog because he wouldn't want any of his patients to stumble across some of the stuff that I post.

I have actually always been really careful NOT to use our last name in any of these posts, so that people wouldn't be able to find out that Vernon So-And-So is connected to it. So, the chances of a patient stumbling upon it are not very likely.

But still, I understand his concerns.

And the year is up. The goal has been met.

Plus, I have almost made enough money to cash in on my meager ad sales finally (I can cash in at $100... right now, I'm $5 short). So, for 365 posts, spending an average time of 15 minutes on each one... that equals out to 91 cents an hour. (But I'm only partially doing it for this lucrative income...)

So, I don't know the direction this blog will take now. I still like writing in it, and I still get a good feeling when I think  people are reading all this stuff because they are interested in what I have to say.

I will have to talk with Vernon about it and see what we come up with... together.

The Very Important Meeting

Vernon and I went to the Very Important Business Meeting yesterday (not really sure why I needed to be there, but, whatever) and we met with a guy that looked like an Italian version of Alec Baldwin who helps chiropractors open up their businesses.

Here is what we came up with:

We (a realtor that Alec Baldwin works with, actually) are now looking for office locations in and near (drumroll please)... St. Louis Park and White Bear Lake.

There it is... St. Louis Park or White Bear Lake.

I've come up with a realization: Deciding on a place to live is kind of like giving birth. When you give up control of it and let God take over, that is when things start to happen. For whatever reason, I've hung on to the confusion of finding out where we're supposed to live for far too long. It feels good just to leave it up to God now.

To let go and let God.

So, wherever we find the best office within those two locations, that's where we'll move to.

I've been praying about this for a long time. I kept praying for some big sign of certainty, so I would know for sure where it was that we should move. But I've come to realize that God doesn't always use a big voice when talking to us. God's voice is usually the quiet one, within us, that we really need to pay attention to in order to hear. (Read the book The Still Small Voice by Echo Bodine for more on this. It's a good one.) And, a lot of time, that voice comes with letting go.

I'm better now.

Vern Got Out the Knives

So, Vern unpacked our kitchen knives today. It was rather uneventful, as I'm sure most of you imagined it to be well before I did.

I was actually going to unpack the knives myself anyway. And then I was going to post on here, Look... I unpacked the knives! I'm independent and capable and I don't need anybody to take care of me. And Vern wins! See... Vern wins! I don't always have to win! (this is in reference to a comment left by an anonymous poster, possibly my mother, in my previous post about the knives. It kind of ticked me off, that comment did).

Still more news: Vernon has an important meeting tomorrow (which I am also required to attend) about some chiropractic business stuff.

Which means that we have deadline in choosing where he is going to practice.

9:00 a.m.

Tomorrow.

Wish us luck.

Where Do You Want to Live?

Vernon made this video.

The Dilemma with the Knives

I am not doing well.

Vernon and I have been fighting since we moved back.

I think that if he unpacks the knives, that will mean that he loves me. It is an unfair test that I'm putting him through (because I know that he loves me). I have even said to him, "It will show me that you care about me if you unpack the knives," which kind of removes any meaning that I'm trying to get from it in the first place... but still, I hold on to it anyway. (Plus, there is also this passive-aggressive way I've been posting about it on here that isn't doing any good either.)

And Vernon is confused by my emotions. (I'm confused by my emotions.) Vernon hasn't had a hard time with the move. I tell him, "Since you aren't having a hard time with anything, you should be able to tend to my emotional needs."

I am such a freaking girl.

He doesn't understand.

("Why is moving so stressful?" he says. "It's not. And there's no reason that you can't use these knives. Look at me. I'm using the knives.")

Oh, why do I have to be such an impossibly particular person to live with?

I keep trying to go to our room so that I can be alone, but Peace keeps following me. She senses my mood. She knows.

Graduation, Miss Content, and Santa

I have been behind on posting pictures. So here are some (which are at least a week or more beyond their relevance).

Vernon's Graduation:

The family attempting to pose for a decent picture with the graduate:

Vernon horsing around at his graduation reception the next day:

Now, on to Thanksgiving. Here is what my mom wore (which might make you want to ask, "Is your mom on drugs, Allison?"):

(Answer: Yes, she is taking blood pressure medication and something for her thyroid.)

Here is Peace posing with my sister and my niece, who also happen to have the hideously long tongue gene:

And here are the kids with Santa and Mrs. Claus:

And then this one of Peace-e-kins (because this is the benefit of giving her the name I did):

More on Moving

Moving back to Minnesota has been tougher on me than I expected. It's not Minnesota itself, of course, it's just the fact that everything in my world has changed once again and, apparently (I have learned), I have a hard time adjusting to change. But, like before, I seriously wasn't expecting it.

Like, when we moved to Colorado over three months ago, I thought it wasn't going to be a big deal. I was excited and happy about it. But it was a big deal.

Same thing with moving back. I didn't think it would be a big deal.

But it is.

I like to create my own space. I feel like I'm getting in the way (which we are, how could we not be?) living in somebody else's space (although I am eternally grateful for it and am not trying to be ungrateful AT ALL).

I like to have my own kitchen. Being in the kitchen making our food is really important to me. I think I spend more time in their than I realize. I should just find out where those darn knives are packed and take them out already. As well as my food processor. And my blender. And my whisk.

I don't like having our lives all packed up in boxes (or, more accurately, Hefty garbage bags).

Blah, blah, blah. That's it for today.