Magician Sex

I was at this Night Before New Year's Eve thing with my family last night. It's this really cool event with games, music, crafts, hayrides, and a magician. The magician also happened to be a balloon maker (is there a better name for one who makes balloons? If so, I can't think of it right now), and he was making balloons for the kids. He was really funny too. He'd say things, like, "What's your favorite animal that looks like a poodle?" and, after accidentally popping a balloon, "Do you know how many times these things pop?  ... Just once."

Mr. Magician had a Mr. Magician-type showman persona, which made me wonder what he was like in normal life... you know, when he wasn't being Mr. Magician. What would it be like to hear him talk normal? What would it be like to see him in sweat pants, sitting on a recliner, watching the latest episode of 24?

And then, as my mind often does during times like this, I started to imagine him having sex. I know, I know... this is weird and I shouldn't do this, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. That is just how my mind works... random thoughts of people who I could never imagine having sex actually HAVING SEX. People like Mr. Larson, my high school shop teacher. People like my parents. People like the cashier at Cub Foods when we're purchasing KY Jelly for ourselves. People like my husband's cousins who are really religious and seem too pure to even know how to have sex. People like Al Roker.

Orgasmic Squash Soup

I made this soup for the first time the other night. I originally had this soup for the first time at Jen's blessingway. When I tasted it, I literally said, "Mmm... This tastes like an orgasm in my mouth." And the ladies who were standing around me said, "Ew... that doesn't sound good." And I'm all, like, "No, I mean, it's as awesome as an orgasm. Oh, never mind. I'll stop talking now."

So, anyway, I didn't take a picture of the soup, so I just grabbed this picture off the internet since basically all squash soups look the same. Everybody in my family loved it as much as I did (and I refrained from making any orgasm comments at the table).

As usual, all of the ingredients should be organic (for obvious reasons). This is a great way to get some  yummy, good-quality fats into your diet (the butter and raw cream), as well as good-quality vegetables.

Here's the recipe:

4 cups butternut squash, peeled and diced
3 cups chicken stock
1 cup apple cider
1 medium apple, peeled and large diced
1 cup chopped carrots
1 medium onion, large diced
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp crushed red peppers
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper

1/4 cup maple syrup
1/2 stick butter
1 cup raw cream

Place all ingredients (except syrup, butter, and heavy cream) in pressure cooker; secure lid. Set pressure cooker to soup or allow pressure cooker to rise in steam until probe lifts. Timer should be set for 10 minutes. (If you do not have a pressure cooker just cook everything until tender.) When cooking is complete, add syrup, butter, and heavy cream, puree soup with immersion blender or in a standard blender and serve.

Note: That isn't a photo of the soup I made. I just grabbed it off the net since I forgot to take a picture and pretty much all squash soups look the same.

Living a Balanced Life

We got home from our Christmas holiday yesterday. It went pretty much as expected. As I predicted before,we did get a couple of comments about how Ocean is not reading yet (she's only six and I believe in child-led reading), one educational Christmas gift, and one comment about doing elimination communication. And none of it was that big of a deal. The only comment that really annoyed me was when my mom said (of baby Peace), "Where's all her hair? Andrea Rivard's baby has lots of hair." But, I guess that comment wasn't so much annoying, inasmuch as it was just utterly stupid (as in, some babies just don't have hair, Mom!).

The whole week pretty much balanced itself out though, as life always does. I've been reading this book by Dr. John F. Demartini called The Breakthrough Experience where he talks about equilibrium and how at the center of all the positives and negatives in life is balance and love. "Nature won't allow anything but equilibrium. When you embrace the balance and the truth, love surrounds you." So, for everything that happens in life that is negative, there is a positive side to it (and vice versa).

I was thinking about this in relation to our holiday, and it couldn't be more true. Sure, I have to put up with the relatives making asinine comments about my babies hair, but I also don't have to do any cooking for an entire week. It's all balanced. I get to eat a lot of yummy, unhealthy food (seriously, I think I have some sort of holiday eating disorder or something), but then my body feels the effects of it afterwards. I have fun playing board games with my family, but then my sister gets sick and starts passing gas that smells worse than my dead grandma.

See... balance.

Where Are My Freaking Pens?

There isn't a day that goes by in our household where I'm not yelling about where the pens are. See, I'm super-anal about my pens. There should be one by the computer, one by the phone, and one by the calendar.

These pens keep getting moved all the time AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

Larry Wachowski

I was leafing through a copy of People magazine at the library the other day, and I saw a picture of The Matrix director, Larry Wachowski, dressed up as a woman.

I was very fascinated and excited by this news, so I told Vernon about it right away when he got home. And he's says, "Yeah, I knew that, like, two years ago."

I was floored by this. Not by the fact that Larry Wachowski has been dressing like a woman for years, but by the fact that I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT. I should officially have my KNOWER-OF-ALL-THINGS-POP-CULTURE card revoked. I don't deserve to be a member anymore.

(There was also some more conversation between Vernon and myself where I got upset with him for not telling me this information two years ago so I wouldn't feel so out of the loop now.)