Why Don't Friends With Kids Have Time?

There is this great article going around Facebook, from Carolyn Hax's Tell Me About It column in the Washington Post. It's called Why Don't Friends With Kids Have Time.

Click on the link to read it in its entirety and then come back here.

Done?

Okay. Good.

If you're lying to me and were too lazy to read the entire thing (hey, I've been there, done that), I'll summarize: A lady writes into the advice column and asks Why doesn't my friend with kids have time for me anymore?

And columnist Carolyn Hax responds with possibly the best six paragraphs ever written in the history of the universe:

When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head. 

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15. 

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier. 

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense. 

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything. 

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.