Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Dating My Husband

On October 1, 2010, I went on a real date with my husband. It was nice and fun and we both felt like we were teenagers again. Somewhere along the road of marriage and life and (most blameworthy) children, we have gotten out of the habit of going out on dates with each other. But after that one date, we were both left with the realization that we NEED to get out and do stuff like this more often. For the sake of our marriage. For the sake of our lives. For the sake of each other.

That is why Moorhead seemed so appealing... because my mom lives there and could watch the kids once in awhile.

So, now I'm trying to come up with ideas to create that kind of life here.

I've looked into what a teenage babysitter would cost (and by "looked into" I mean that I posted a facebook poll about it), and found out that they are much more expensive than I ever would have though. I think that my upbringing (growing up in a super-small, rural town) and not making very much money as an adult (I never really had a real "real" job. Vernon taught at a Catholic school for less than $20,000 a year before going back to school to become a chiropractor... where he then got around $22,000 in student loans for living expenses) has kind of stunted my thinking regarding money in this modern-day metro world that I'm currently living in.

But, anyway, my facebook poll (with 40 or so responses) revealed that people are paying around $7-$10 for a young teenage babysitter. (I got paid around $1 an hour when I was that age.) The only response that seemed reasonable to me was from a friend who still lives in the super-small rural town that I grew up in. She pays $2.

So, hiring a babysitter might be something on the horizon, but, obviously, not now (as I sit here typing in a room that we are living in rent-free from Vernon's brother).

John Taylor Gatto is going to be in town giving a talk at Macalester College on Friday night. I'm going to go to it, of course (why would I miss it?)... but this is really, really something that I would like to go to with Vernon (and he would like to go as well... I even got him to read Dumbing Us Down last year). But it seems like too much trouble/effort trying to arrange childcare for our kids.

Today, out of curiosity, I posted another question asking: How many times in a month do you and your spouse go out on a date?

The results: Most people said zero. (Some said one or two, only a few said more than that.)

A lot of people mentioned that they stay in for date nights with their spouse. Vern and I tried that last spring, but it just isn't the same. There is something about getting out and exploring the external world together that is kind of fun and magical and necessary (for us, anyway).

I would like to do more of it.

(Oh, my silly mother... living all the way in Moorhead. Why does she go and do things like that?)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Vernon, people! VERNON!!!!

Goofy Mama said...

Seriously, who is this?

Anonymous said...

Just a goofy fan! GOOFY FAN!!!

Erica said...

Having family to babysit is definitely a plus, and Vernon is a transplant right?

I would say we go on a date once a month. In fact, my mom took oliver overnight this weekend and on Sunday, Nick, Kellan and I went and had brunch and saw a movie.

Can you arrange an exchange with another mom on the AP list? I'd offer to babysit cause I know how much it would suck to not have my moms support, but I'm still getting a handle on my new babe. Maybe this summer after I pass my boards I could take your children for a night, so you guys can do dinner and a movie.

Goofy Mama said...

Erica - I was going to write about babysitting exchange, but I didn't want to get too long-winded. The problem with that is our current living situation. (And it would be a problem with hiring a babysitter as well... I think I was writing more about what to expect in the long-run).

But, we live too far away from anyone (another mom) to want to come to us. Plus, we live with Vern's brother, so he would be here the whole time and that would just be awkward. (Note: I don't feel comfortable leaving Peace with him, nor do I want to ask any more of him.) And if we dropped the kids off with someone, they would be stuck with having to put two sets of kids to sleep (ours as well as their own).

But this is a temporary living situation, so exchanging with another mom (like we've done in the past) is a definite possibility again someday.

R said...

I might be living in a different pocket of the modern world here, but I'd thought most were way too low for babysitters and dates. You get what you pay for, so I'd pay 12-15 for a good sitter per hour. We pay our cat sitter 10 per visit after all! I don't trust anyone to do anything well for less than 10 per hour, much less watch my (future) kids.

Dates should be 3-4 per month even if short dates, and 1 vacation per year. I know not everyone can do this but I think it's a healthy priority. There are ways to do things cheaply if need be.

Unknown said...

Word Allison. Jeff and I got out last night, just for an hour and we're VERY lucky to have a built in babysitter (for the moment, Sage is old enough to take care of Poppy but we won't be leaving the newborn with him when s/he gets here) so we really should take advantage of that more right now.

I do think that, other than having a much older child available as babysitter, baby sitting co-ops and childcare sharing is a good way to go. I know it was harder for you when you were coming to our co-op because of the distance, someday I dream of every neighborhood having their own co-op <3

Anonymous said...

Look out, radioactive man!

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