Thursday, April 7, 2011

Douche Bags

You guys are all douche bags. I only got 2 serious entries for my recipe request yesterday. I bet if Smitten Kitchen would have sent out a request, she would have gotten hundreds.

In other news: I filled out an application with a nanny company the other day. I was hoping to get some evening babysitting gigs in order to get some extra money. 

They rejected me.

Here is what they wrote:

"In reviewing your application we don't see that you have the minimum qualifications that we expect from candidates which includes current or very recent full time long term child care employment history."

They're douche bags too.

27 comments:

Kristin said...

Eh. If it matters at all, I didn't send a recipe because I don't eat as organically or as pure as you, and you have already used your five percent snarfing down garlic cheese biscuits with Ocean.

Anonymous said...

you should have bribed them with doritto pie, it works 100% of the time, 60% of the time.

Anonymous said...

and the doritto pie was a serious recipe, give it a try!

Emily said...

I hate to say it, but the whole foods diet was a little intimidating for me.

I'll give you a couple of my favorites, though I haven't had time to make one since S started walking.

First--any kind of bitter green (i prefer broccoli rabe/rapini) italian sausage, pasta (whole wheat).
Precook sausage--one per person--an pasta, set aside.
Sauté a couple of cloves of garlic and some crushed red pepper in olive oil until the garlic becomes fragrant and slightly golden. Add about a cup or so of crushed or pureed tomatoes (1 1/2-2 for your family) Add well washed greens, cook until well wilted. Stir in sliced sausage, reheat sausages, then add pasta.
Stir well to combine. Top with some fresh uncooked olive oil (raw has more benefit) and some grated Parmesan.
Emily c, part 1

Anonymous said...

this post should have been called doritto bags.

Laura in the Far East said...

Somehow I missed the recipe request. I will play but it will have to wait until I can consult my lists.

Anonymous said...

YOU SHOULDN'T JUDGE YOUR 300+ FANS SO HARSHLY GOOFY, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE LIKE THAT...

Emily said...

And I wouldn't want to be a douche bag. You know where they put those things? ;)

Part 2 is really complicated. It's vegetarian picadillo stuffed acorn squash. With respect to Spanish culture.... So for the picadillo, which is traditionally a sweet and sour meat mixture in chili rellenos involving green olives and raisins, I made it with quinoa, chick peas, currants, green olives, tomato purée, crushed red pepper and a splash of balsamic vinegar. I stuff it into partly cooked acorn squash halves and wrap each in foil to finish baking.

Anonymous said...

YOU SHOULD RENAME THE BLOG, ANGRY MAMA- BECAUSE LIKE IS TO SHORT TO NOT BE ANGRY...

Laura in the Far East said...

Anon, there is only one T in doritos.

Anonymous said...

i never graduated from high school, sorry about my grammar.

Goofy Mama said...

Well, at least I still have the funniest blog readers. Even if you're all douche bags.

Anonymous said...

ARE YOU STILL ANGRY???

Jody Riley said...

Long term childcare? Hmm.. Having your own kids doesn't count? I personally think that a sitter who has kids is way better than a nervous teenager. Weirdos...
I would give you a recipe, but I am not a very good cook. So, while I feed my family I wouldn't brag about it. Once, I had a dish with quinoa, brown rice, and little teeny squared sweet potatoes. I think they seasoned it with braags. There was something else in it but I can't remember. That was pretty good... :)

Goofy Mama said...

No, I'm not angry. I just play it up sometimes to be funny.

Anonymous said...

did you try the doritto pie yet?

Unknown said...

You certainly do have...interesting readers!

I just posted a recipe for vegan mashed potatoes on my blog:

http://bethapproach.blogspot.com/

Gastenator said...

I'm totally ok being a douche bag.

It was nice seeing you again today. :)

hollydlr said...

I posted a recipe but Blogger ate it. Blogger is a douche bag.

Robin said...

I think next time instead of calling the post "Got recipes?" you should call it "Recipes....get them in ASAP or you will be called a douche bag".
That has a catchier ring to it.
I just emailed a bunch to you. Enjoy!

Douche Bag said...

NON-DOUCHE BAG NANNY COMPANY JOB ANNOUNCEMENT

SEEKING: Nannies.

QUALIFICATIONS: None! We have no standards! We will hire you on the spot with no proof of qualifications or experience. If you've been knocked up a few times and need extra cash, you're good. If you write a blog and call us douche bags, even better! Moms who trust us with their kids love that!

(Note: This is a joke, Goofy Mama style. Don't comment that this is mean, because she will find it funny. Her sense of humor is like Ricky Gervais -- she can take it. Trust me.)

Anonymous said...

I think this is a good thing that happened to goofy mama. How you respond in life is everything. Goofy mama wants to take it out on us, the fans of the page, i like to call them goofy mama's kids. Plain and simple, you didn't get the job because you were not qualified in their eyes. Own up!

Goofy Mama said...

Anonymous - It is MOCK anger. I'm not taking anything out on anyone. I'm over it.

Anonymous said...

how did the kids like the doritto pie?

Anonymous said...

extra extra goofy mama smells

Stephaine said...

Okay, I forgot to post but here is a sweet, delectable dessert!


one-pan dark chocolate chunk skillet cookie
1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 egg
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup chocolate chunks
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter in an 8 inch cast iron skillet set over medium-low heat. Stir in sugars and vanilla and remove from heat. Let rest until pan is warm, but no longer very hot, about 5 minutes.


2. Crack an egg onto the butter and sugar mixture, and use a fork to whisk it well into the mixture. Place flour, baking soda, and salt on top, and very carefully stir into the mixture until smooth and well-mixed. Stir in chocolate chunks. Place in the oven for 15 minutes, or until starting to turn golden on the top and around the edges, but soft in the center. Serve with vanilla ice cream.

Lisa said...

That is quite amusing about the nanny gig. You could apply at the place I'm hired at if you want to take care of the elderly...very flexible hours and they love moms.

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