Goofy Mama Answers, Part 5

What methods did you use to potty train your two oldest? I am getting a lot of pressure from my husband's family to train our 2 1/2 year old daughter. I really don't think she's ready and would like to use a gentle approach and wait until she wants to train. We have received potty training books, pull-ups, Dora underwear, and lots of unwanted comments for Christmas. 

I've never liked the term "potty training". Creates such pressure to get our kids to comply to an act that couldn't be more inherent. Kids learn how to use the potty when they're ready. When you're a grown up, nobody ever asks you how old you were when you learned how to go pee on the toilet. You're not filling that answer in on a job application. And the reason for that is BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER!

So what if a kid isn't using the potty before they're three. They'll figure it out. It's not rocket science. Just leave them be, don't pressure them, and maybe let them run around without any pants for awhile (if you have hardwood floors and are cool with stuff like that).

Pressure from extended family about this is unnecessary and annoying. It's like the question, "So, is she sleeping through the night yet?" Who cares! Kids are smart and they're not going to spend the rest of their lives peeing in their pants (no one ever has... I'm almost certain about this, but I have yet to meet everybody on this planet, so this is only my estimation).

Tell the relatives to butt out, and don't sweat it. (You'll have enough to sweat when she's older and pees in the bottle that you use as an essential oil room spray, just to see what pee smells like when she sprays it.)


Your post called "Lower Standards" was interesting and the comments showed several people doing the same. I would like to hear if you've found any drawbacks to this approach. Do you ever get tired of seeing dirty clothes or do things start to smell? Maybe you could role play the part of someone objecting to this philosophy. For example, "I went to Goofy Mama's house and it had a smell." "Goofy Mama's kids seemed dirty and I felt uncomfortable walking in the mall with them." However you do it, I want to hear the other side of the lower standards idea .... 

This is a strange question, but I applaud you for having the courage to ask it, because they always say, "There are no dumb questions..." (except for this one, maybe).

Let's see... role playing? Umm...

PHILOSOPHY OBJECTOR: Goofy Mama, your house smells worse than my dead grandma after a raccoon threw up on her corpse.

GOOFY MAMA: Then your dead grandma must smell awesome because that's what my house smells like... awesomeness.


Is that what you were looking for? Or should I do another?


INT. ROSEDALE MALL - DAY

Philosophy Objector is walking through the mall with her one-night-stand, Charlie Sheen. They stroll past Hot Topic and are approaching The Pretzelmaker.

Philosophy Objector has something she wants to confide to Charlie Sheen. She leans over, whispers,

PHILOSOPHY OBJECTOR

Goofy Mama's kids seemed dirty and I felt 

uncomfortable walking in the mall with them.

CHARLIE SHEEN

What? Goofy Mama is awesome.

Duh... she's winning!

PHILOSOPHY OBJECTOR

But, they were dirty... like my dead grandma.

CHARLIE SHEEN

Being clean is for fools, amateurs.

I don't know. Winning, anyone?

Does that about sum it up?

The quick answer behind this (somewhat presumptuous question) is that we DON'T smell and that our house is lovely and smells like incense and food cooking (when we're not living with Vince, that is. Here, it kind of smells like chemicals sometimes).

Duh... winning!