My last post was kind of weird. I sounded like I was on pot or something.
So, here's what's been going on:
I'm feeling better about all that other stuff that was going on. As a matter of fact, I'm at a point now where I don't even know WHY I got so worked up in the first place. Part of it, is just coming to a point, a level of detachment, where it doesn't really matter what other people are doing. (I talked about this before in my, "I don't care if people circumcise" post.) It doesn't mean that you don't care about the people, it just means that you don't care so much about their process.
It's like, with the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
The problem with me, at times, is that I think I can change everything. That's not necessarily a bad quality to have, but there has to be a point where the "wisdom to know the difference" steps in.
Like, I can't change the fact the my father-in-law will probably get chemo. I can't change my cousin's mind about circumcising or vaccinating his children. I couldn't change my mom's mind about getting her gallbladder removed.
And that's okay.
It doesn't mean that I can't try, but I do have to recognize when to stop and just let things be. Different people. Different journeys.
And I'm okay with that. Finally, I'm okay with that.
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3 comments:
Yeah Allison.
Wow. Some people are super supportive, huh?
I have to say, I'm glad you could come to peace with things but I'm sorry you're in a position to need to do it.
Loved your previous post, because sometimes we just need some simplicity and to stop worrying about things for a while. So you sounded like a pothead. That's ok too.
I also really liked this post. Not just because I'm the cousin in question, but mostly for your own sake. Life is short and it's a big world, way too short and big to worry about other people's choices. I always think of two examples that remind me not to get too bothered by external matters.
Example #1: Think of the last day of your life. I know you don't mind doing this Allison, because you're not afraid of mortality. In those final moments, will you want to be thinking, "Man, I wish I could've convinced old so-and-so to do things my way. Darn!"? Hopefully not. Hopefully you'll be thinking of the good times, even good times with old so-and-so. "That so-and-so, what a character. When we were young he thought he would be an astronaut. Good times. We made movies at the cemetery. Speaking of which ... (then you die)." Perspective. Life is short.
Example #2: Think of a small Chinese family living in Hunan Province in the year 1311. They are one of a billion Chinese families in history. You somehow transport to their home, and they are in a big argument over such-and-such, something you know very little about because you are from a different time and culture. And such-and-such issue is tearing them apart. If you could say one thing to this family, what would it be? Would it be, "Stick to your guns and fight on principle, don't compromise, even if it ruins your relationships!"? Or would it be, "Hey, I'm from America in 2011, and what you are arguing about seems very small and silly 700 years later in another country, and no one will even remember this in the future. Why don't you just get along and try to love each other or at least enjoy yourselves as best you can? Come now, let's have some stew."? (I always picture people in history eating stew). "Mmmmmm, is that water buffalo?" Perspective. The world is big.
I'm not sure if anyone will understand these two examples, but they make a ton of sense to me. Just like longing for the pit of corn and being at peace with things you can't change.
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