Ezra is really good at sports. He can throw a good spiral almost 100% of the time (whereas, in comparison, I can only throw a good spiral 37% of the time). He is also good at hitting and throwing a baseball and swimming and running really fast.
So, what am I going to do with all his unbridled talent and enthusiasm for sports?
Nothing.
My natural inclination toward this approached was re-affirmed in reading the book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. In it, Payne talked about how:
- Children under ages 8-10 need unstructured play more than they need sports, both for the activity and for the developmental benefits it offers.
- According to studies reported in the Journal of Physical Education, Recreation & Dance, 35% of participants withdraw each year from organized sports, while up to 67% of participants drop out of sports between the ages of 7 and 18. The Journal of Sports Behavior reported that by 10th grade, more than 90% of high school sophomores had dropped out of an organized sport they'd started.
- When kids younger than 10 or 11 become occupied with organized sports, especially to the exclusion of time for free, unstructured play, that involvement can cut crudely across the progression through a variety of play stages that are vitally important to their development.
- Equally disheartening is the fact that so many kids are quitting as they approach adolescence, just when the structures and rigors of organized sports have so much to offer them in their quest for individuality, independence, and maturity.
Playing. Learning. Loving. Growing.
Note: I am not saying that organized sports are wrong or bad, but, as Payne writes, "...too may scheduled activities may limit a child’s ability to direct themselves, to fill their own time, to find and follow their own path." and "I am not against sports, I am against the way that we’ve transposed adult endeavors – with an adult sense of competition, fanaticism, and consumerism – into children’s lives."
Also, this is what Ezra has going on in his room. He colored all these pictures of team logos:
And, P.S., Ezra will be cheering for the New York Giants tonight. (In the video, he was even wearing the Giants colors and pretending he was Eli Manning.)
3 comments:
I love this so much, Allison. This is just how I feel about competitive sports. But my kids and I have no abilities in competitive sports so my beliefs have not been put to the test yet. I love Simplicity Parenting.
Just an anecdote from a boy -- not necessarily disagreeing, just sharing my story. I'm not sure what the developmental goals are that the book cites. I would say the goal is not to be great at sports or to even play sports past 10th grade (varsity sports in high school were becoming incredibly cutthroat and intense even 20 years ago when I played, and I think this is true esp for boys. I still remember the pressure of those games). The goal I'd have in mind is a boy who is well adjusted socially and can relate to others as an individual and as a teammate.
So this is a huge generalization and just an observation based on my own life: I have often noted that guys I know who played organized sports from a young age are more well adjusted socially than those who did not. And they are healthier adults (physically).
However, I'd say the even bigger factor is that well adjusted boys also played a lot with their fathers and thus naturally wanted to join sports teams early on, while maladjusted boys did not connect with their fathers in that way and gravitated toward fantasy or computer games, which they played alone to the exclusion of sports.
Finally, I'll end with this: when I was I kid, I am very sure that neither I nor my parents worried much about the developmental stages of play, we just played a lot and when friends started joining sports teams, I wanted to join too and would've been upset to be left out.
Yes, L, I can see what you're saying. And it isn't that I'm against organized sports (if that is what the kid wants), I just don't see it as a necessity, as many parents do, in enrolling them into this, that, and the other when the kid is only 3 years old.
When we were kids, they also didn't have organized sports for 3 year olds. I don't think an organized sport was even offered where I lived until around age 8 or so.
And I think one of the points the book was making was to not wear your kid out on sports when they're really young, so that they loose interest and drop out and then don't do it at a point when it's really helpful to them in developing their independence.
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