How I Feel About Making Midwife - 3 Years Later

So, where last I left off on this blog, before I started just posting a bunch of recipes and then nothing but Valentine's Day pictures and Christmas cards, I was talking about how making my documentary (Midwife, see below) affected me.

I wrote stuff like:

After the premiere, I was expecting to be able to breathe again. When I was driving from the premiere to the after-party, I thought I would exhale and  feel normal again.
But I didn't. I still felt stressed, even after it was all said and done.

and

And I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from all this. I don't know if it is good, to give myself challenges in life, and to grow and learn from them (part of me says yes). Or if putting myself through that is just not worth it (part of me says yes to this as well).

It seemed to do a real number on my brain chemicals for awhile, you know? It took me quite awhile to get back to feeling like myself again (whatever that means).

So, I wanted to update you a bit on how I'm feeling about it now, almost 3-1/2 years later:

I think it was good. I can look at it now and say that I am happy that I challenged myself. I am happy I made this movie, and I am happy that I put it out there for the world to see. (This is a rough estimate, since there is know way for me to know for sure, but I think around 15,000-20,000 people have probably seen the film.)

It was hard to put myself in a place of vulnerability, in making the movie and putting it out there to be seen and judged by other people. But, ultimately, I am glad that I did. I think that it was worth it.

It only took me 3-1/2 years to realize that though.

Here's a link to the film if you want to see it: